Carer Data base: 3580
National Convenor Di
Will be taking leave from December 16th until January 10th. Please direct your calls to National Secretariat on 09 419 0042 or your local Co-ordinator. List on last page. Thank you.

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine!
When my grandies were little they all woke us at 5am on Christmas morning! Now they are teenagers, we are the ones up early, waiting for them!
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My 3 little grandchildren leave carrots out for Santa’s reindeer. Nanny & Poppy would go outside after dark whilst they were asleep and would chew up the carrots and spit them out (glad no one was watching). To this day, they still believe the reindeer ate the carrots and these were the left over bits they dropped!
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This Christmas, I am one of the lucky grandparents able to go back to being a grandmother instead of a parent. I feel so blessed and in awe of all those who have to parent their grandkids long term and in many cases those children have many problems which makes the task even more difficult. I cannot express enough how grateful. I am to the hardworking dedicated people who make sure grandparents raising grandchildren have a forum to vent, share and get valuable information and support. Kia Kaha
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The first Christmas after our grandchild had arrived to live with us; granddad would tinkle a bell in the home at 6am Christmas morning, this new tradition continues after 5 years, and she LOVES it!
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The latest from my 14-year-old:
Me: “Well, what would you like for Christmas this year?”
Him: “I’d rather have some money, so I can buy anything I like”
Me: “Well, I guess that would be reasonable. How much were you thinking?”
Him: “About $2,000 would be okay”……….Yeah, right! return to top
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My pre-teen girls are learning Community spirit; they are in the local Santa Parade on a float. We like to instill the value of community work and voluntary work. Giving back is so important. We feel this teaches them a valuable life skill.
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Christmas day is a personal family affair, just the 5 of us, and as Nan I do all the cooking and the 3 little ones have the special job of setting the Christmas table. One year I was busy elsewhere and left them to it with all the serviettes, Christmas crackers etc. Upon my return imagine my horror (unbeknown to me a fight had erupted), as before me I saw, they had pulled all the crackers, torn up the serviettes and had spilt juice over everything. Poppa has a new job now, supervisor! I can laugh about it now, but at the time the orange coloured juice over the pale carpet was very difficult to clean up! Needless to say from that day on we had colour free juice.

Deck the halls with bells of holly!
As a Registered Nurse in a hospital and Rest home the past few years, we find the old traditions of singing Carols with Candle light through the rooms and wards is a delightful and often quite moving experience.

In the past few years - since we have had our two girls - my husband and I have found it really lovely to take the girls with us - they are welcomed by the elderly and their families alike. The girls love singing the carols, and they feel as though they are helping spread "cheer and goodwill" to people who need it and really appreciate it.

I dress the girls up - sometimes in all sorts of outrageous costumes that they help me think of ..... be it Angels, or Christmas trees...just so long as it reflects the season and they all enjoy it.
The other thing we enjoy doing is making cupcakes together - just sometimes with the 'instant' mixes, decorating them in Christmas looks - i.e.; White icing, with green and red sprinkles on top - then putting 2-3 in some cellophane paper (once again green and red,) tying the top up with gold ribbon and then the girls give them out the Sunday before Christmas to all the elderly, widows or those on their own over the Christmas holidays in our church. I always make the girls a new dress for Christmas - trying to find fabric appropriate for the season and they also wear their new Christmas dresses that day when handing out the wee gifts.

Usually I print a card and attach it onto the cakes...normally saying something like this:

We are only young, and we are still learning that Christmas is about giving as well as receiving, so please accept this as a gift of love. Many thanks, Sarah & Claire. return to top
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Christmas time for our grandchildren is full of happiness but tinged with sadness. Will the ‘parent’ remember? And send them a gift…….anything! Some years she does, more often she doesn’t. One child in particular, the week before Christmas will check the mail box daily 5 times a day. We can only hope that what they have got from us and extended family will somehow make up for this, but I doubt it. Our hearts break as do theirs.
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Silent night, holy night, all is calm, all is bright!
Dear Santa,

I've been a good Nana all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my grandchildren on demand, visited the doctor's and dentist's office more than my mother, sold sixty-two cases of chocolate bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my grand daughters red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any colour, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull a screaming child out of the lolly aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a my own natural colour of hair - and even SOME hair - as I seemed to have lost mine somewhere between the Family Court fighting for my Grandchildren’s safety, or pulling it out in my sleep with frustration at birth parents who do not take responsibility for their actions.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, 'Yes, Nana' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat in the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother/Sister,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair on the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare tomato sauce a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my Grandchildren to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my grandchildren saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think they want their crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.

Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, Nana...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my Grandchildren happy, healthy and always believing. return to top

United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCROC)
A summary:
Article 1 Definition of a child
A child is a person under the age of 18, unless their country's laws say it is earlier.
Article 2 Non-discrimination
All UNCROC rights apply to all children, no matter who or where they are. The Government is responsible for protecting them from any type of discrimination and acting to promote their rights.
Article 3 Best interests of the child
All actions that involve children should consider their best interests. The Government should look after children when their parents/caregivers - or anyone else responsible for them – do not.
Article 4 Implementation of rights
The Government must do all it can to implement the rights in this Convention.
Article 5 Parental guidance
The Government must respect the rights and responsibilities of children's families to provide guidance for them in a way that suits their changing abilities.
Article 6 Survival and development.
Every child has the right to life, and the Government is obliged to make sure they survive and develop.
Article 7 Name and nationality
Children have the right to a name when they are born. They also have the right to a nationality and - as much as possible - to know their parents and be cared for by them.
Article 8 Preservation of identity
The Government is obliged to protect and, if necessary, re-establish basic aspects of the child's identity. This includes their name, their nationality and any family ties.
Article 9 Separation from parents
Children have a right to live with their parents unless it is decided that this is not the best option for them. Children have the right to maintain contact with both parents if they are separated from them.
Article 10 Family reunification
Children and their parents have the right to leave any country and enter their own country to reunite with their families or maintain their relationship with their parents.
Article 11 Illicit transfer and non-return
The Government is obliged to prevent and act on kidnapping or any other act that keeps a child away form their own country - whether by their parent or anyone else.
Article 12 The child's opinion
Children have the right to express their opinion freely and to have that opinion considered in anything that affects them.
Article 13 Freedom of expression
Children have the right to express their own views, get information and tell others about their ideas.
Article 14 Freedom of thought, conscience and religion
The Government should respect children's right to freedom of thought, conscience and
religion, subject to appropriate parental guidance.
Article 15 Freedom of association
Children have a right to meet with others and to join or form groups.
Article 16 Protection of privacy
Children have the right to protection from interference with their privacy, their family, their home and correspondence, and from illegal attacks on their honour or reputation (slander or libel).
Article 17 Access to appropriate information
The Government should make sure that children have access to information and material from a wide range of sources. It should also encourage the media to produce and distribute information that is good for children, and take steps to protect children from harmful material.
Article 18 Parental responsibilities
Parents are jointly responsible for raising their children, and should do what is best for them. The Government should provide appropriate help to parents in bringing up their children.
Article 19 Protection from abuse and neglect
The Government should protect children from all types of mistreatment - by parents or anyone else responsible for their care - and set up programmes to prevent abuse and mistreatment.
Article 20 Protecting children who do not have a family
The Government is obliged to provide special protection for children who do not grow up in their family or have to stay with someone else for a while, and to make sure that they have appropriate alternative care according to their cultural background.
Article 21 Adoption
Governments that allow adoption should only let it happen if it is right for the child, and then only where there are competent organisations to manage it, and appropriate safeguards for the child.
Article 22 Refugee children
Refugee children or children seeking refuge should be given special protection. The Government is responsible for cooperating with international organisations that protect and help refugee children.
Article 23 Children with disabilities
Children with disabilities have the right to special care, education and training to help them live a full and decent life with dignity - and achieve the greatest possible level of self-reliance and involvement in society.
Article 24 Health and health services
Children have the right to the best possible health and medical care. The Government should focus on providing primary and preventive health care and public health education and on reducing infant deaths.
Article 25 Reviewing placement
Children who are placed away from their parents to get the right care, protection or treatment are entitled to have that placement reviewed regularly.
Article 26 Social security
Children have the right to social security, including benefits (depending on their circumstances).
Article 27 Standard of living
Children have the right to a standard of living that is adequate for their physical, mental, spiritual, moral and social development. Parents have the main responsibility for this – the Government has a duty to make sure they can, and do, do it.
Article 28 Education
Children have a right to education. The Government should make sure that primary education is free and compulsory, encourage different types of secondary education and make higher education available to everyone who has the ability.
Article 29 Aims of education
Education should aim to develop children's personality, talents and mental and physical abilities as much as possible. It should prepare children for an active adult life in a free society and encourage respect for their parents, their own cultural identity, language and values, and for others' cultural backgrounds and values.
Article 30 Children from minority or indigenous populations
Children who come from ethnic, religious and linguistic minorities, or who are indigenous peoples, have the right to enjoy their own culture and practice their own religion and language.
Article 31 Leisure, recreation and cultural activities
Children have the right to leisure and rest, to play and to take part in cultural and artistic activities.
Article 32 Child Labour
Children have the right to be protected from work that is dangerous to their health, education or development. The Government should set minimum ages for work and set laws for working conditions.

Article 33 Drug abuse
Children have the right to protection from the use of drugs, and from being involved in producing or distributing them.
Article 34 Sexual exploitation
The Government should protect children from sexual exploitation and abuse, including prostitution and involvement in pornography.
Article 35 Sale, trafficking and abduction
The Government is obliged to make every effort to prevent the sale, trafficking and abduction of children.
Article 36 Other forms of exploitation
Children have the right to protection from all types of exploitation.
Article 37 Torture and deprivation of liberty
No child should be tortured, cruelly treated or punished, unlawfully arrested or lose their freedom. People under the age of 18 should not get sentences of capital punishment or life imprisonment without any chance of release. Any child who is locked up (such as in prison) should be separated from adults unless it is not the best option for them. Children who are detained should have legal and other help as well as contact with their family.
Article 38 Armed conflicts
The Government should do everything it can to make sure that children under 15 years old don't directly take part in wars or armed conflicts. No-one under the age of 15 should be asked or able to join the armed forces. The Government should also make sure that children who are affected by armed conflict are protected and cared for.
Article 39 Rehabilitative care
The Government is obliged to make sure that child victims of armed conflicts, torture, neglect, mistreatment or exploitation get appropriate treatment for their recovery and settlement back into society.
Article 40 Administration of juvenile justice
Children in trouble with the law have the right to treatment that promotes their sense of dignity and worth, takes their age into account and aims to help them get back to a normal life. Special laws and procedures should be set up to do this, including a minimum age for being charged with an offence. Children are entitled to be treated fairly (in accordance with the principles of natural justice) and to get legal or other help for their defense. Judicial proceedings and putting children in some type of institution are to be avoided as much as possible.
Article 41 Respect for higher standards
Any standards in national and international law that relate to children's rights and are higher than those in this Convention shall always apply.

Note the italicised Articles which relate to the children we raise return to top

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. ~ Bob Hope

The Pecking Order
Grandchild (7) was fiddling about and not getting ready for school! Granny told her to get a move on or we would be late for school, it is an indictable offence! Her response - "You can't tell me what to do! You’re NOT my mother! You're not EVEN my MOTHER'S mother!"
Obviously being her father’s mother does not count!
I know my place in the pecking order!
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Hint from Parents Inc
You will find out how your child is feeling and interpreting family life by asking a few key questions. Try these questions at dinner time. They are designed so that you start the question and your child finishes the statement with their own thoughts. They are not designed for interrogation but to open hearts.
I would like to be really good at…
The best part about the weekend is…
If I could have any pet I wanted I would choose a…
I feel worried when…

Moving to Australia
My goodness, we have heard of so many GRG’s of late who are moving to Australia. Are we going to have to set up a GRG group for our people over there!

Firstly, a comment re "To Grandma's House We Stay"... husband and I got such a lot out of this book. Mainly from the angle that it helped me face reality about our situation. We raise a little boy who we have had since the age of 3 weeks and has just started school. He is very active but also very 'sharp'. We love him dearly but as you all know it is not easy!!! The biggest thought was that we CHOSE to do this. So on days when I am my lowest I remind myself of this.
I also liked the case studies and the different scenarios the writer gives. The comment was made that the child's parents will always be the parents whether we like what they are doing or not. This is so true. We always try to build an OK picture to the child but sometimes it is very hard! We strongly recommend this book to those who have only 'thought' about reading it! I have passed it on to my mum and dad who are in their 70s and 80s and they have found it helpful also. Have others I will pass it on to also. Many thanks!

Secondly, just recently I told grandson that I loved him 'sooooo much'. He said "I love you too." I asked him how much. He looked at me and touched my cheek and said "You are the most special lady in the whole wide world!!!"
I will never forget that! return to top

Press Release by New Zealand Government at 4:20 pm, 04 Dec 2007
Social Development and Employment Minister Ruth Dyson has announced the most substantial improvements in child welfare law since 1989 with the introduction of the Children, Young Persons, and their Families Amendment Bill.

"This Bill will make the CYPF 1989 Act more responsive to the needs of children and young people needing care and protection. It will improve the participation of children and young people in decisions about them.
It will ensure delivery of the right services at the right time to families in need and appropriate responses to children including those with disabilities. It will improve support for those moving out of the care and protection system," said Ruth Dyson.

"Another of the changes we are proposing is to raise the age of young people covered by the Act to include 17-year-olds. Research indicates that the youth justice system is better than the adult criminal justice system at stopping re-offending by young people. However under the existing legislation and proposed changes, young people can still be sent to adult court for serious charges.

"The proposal for the Act to cover 17 year olds is also consistent with New Zealand's commitment to the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child.

"Our proposed changes will provide more options for dealing with serious and persistent offending through longer court orders being made available to the Youth Court. The changes will also ensure that our children and young people are held accountable both to the community and to their victims, for example through reparations. There is a stronger emphasis on victim support, so that victims have the right to send a representative and supporters to Family Group Conferences and to be kept informed of what progress the young person is making, if they wish."

The proposed changes are a result of wide public consultation, involving about 100 submissions from front-line workers, non-government organisations and others from across the care and protection, disability and youth justice sectors.

The Bill will be given its first reading in Parliament soon and will then be open for public submissions once it goes to select committee.

"This important piece of legislation impacts on thousands of New Zealand children, young people and their families each year and it needs to be up-to-date to remain effective in improving their lives," said Ruth Dyson.

ENDS

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty… but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. ~ Phyllis Diller

Moving out ?
Grandson who is now a teen decided he wanted to leave home, so okay, we let him. Hey we are liberal grand’s and thought we would enjoy the peace and quiet, how wrong we were. 1st week: “hey pop where were you, you never said you were going out pops”, reply, “gee's boy that sounds familiar.” 2nd week: “nanna we ran out of food what do we do now?” Nanna: “starve I guess.” 3rd week: “Nanna and Pop while I like flatting, everyone comes around eats your food and stay's late and I get too tired for work, you would like me to come home eh?” Pop, who is going a bit dotty God love him, said to him, “didn’t think you had left as you are always here”. Grandson: “is that a yes or a no?” Pop: “that’s a yes and a no” grand son’s confused, asked again could he come home? pop shows him his old room and said “looks like you never left” so grandson is home again, just goes to show there’s no place like home whatever age they are, we still love him dearly and I must tell you he now lets us know where he is at the weekends. return to top

Carer Support
What is Carer Support?
Carer Support is a subsidy funded by the Ministry of Health. It is designed to assist the unpaid full-time carer of a person with a disability to take a break from caring for that person. Carer support provides reimbursement of some of the costs of using a support person to care for the disabled person. This means the full-time carer can take some time out for themselves. The number of hours or days that carer support is funded for is determined by the needs of the carer and the disabled person.

Who is a full time carer?
A full time carer is the person who provides more than 4 hours per day unpaid care to a disabled person, for example the parent of a disabled child.

How do I get Carer Support?
You can be assessed by a Needs Assessment Service Co-ordination (NASC) organisation or, in some circumstances, by a doctor. They will then allocate your Carer Support days and undertake a review with you, usually after a year.

How can I use my Carer Support?
Carer Support is designed to be flexible and can be paid to friends, some family members or neighbours who provide relief care or to people who provide relief care in a formal setting, for example a rest home.

Carer Support cannot be used…
• While the full-time carer is at work
• By the parent or partner of the disabled person
• To convalesce after discharge from hospital
• If the support carer lives at the same address as the full-time carer.

What are Carer Support payments regarded as?
Carer Support payments may be subject to Income Tax. This will depend on your individual circumstances. You may wish to seek advice regarding tax issues from the Inland Revenue Department, or if you receive a benefit, you should contact Work and Income New Zealand.

How can I get more information?
You can contact your local NASC which can be found online at www.moh.govt.nz/disability under contact details. Your doctor should also be able to refer you to your local NASC.

You can call HealthPac on 0800 281 222 (press 1).

You can also contact your local Disability Information Service (look in the phone book under ‘D’) or online at www.moh.govt.nz/disability under contact details (DIAS).

For more information on Disability Services, and the services we fund, go to www.moh.govt.nz/disability

Other Fact Sheets in this series include:
• Community Residential Support Services
• Disability Information Advisory Service (DIAS)
• Home Based Support Services (HBSS)
• Needs Assessment and service Co-ordination (NASC)
• Respite Services
• Frequently Asked Questions

Other pamphlets in this series:
• Information on Disability Services
• Equipment and Modifications

Dear Carer Support Subsidy Recipient and Full-time Carer 9 November 2007

Re: Carer Support Subsidy Payment

From 01 November 2007, the amount paid for Carer Support Subsidy will increase for Ministry of Health funded recipients. This change has been made to make the payment for Carer Support Subsidies around the country consistent.

In some areas of the country this will mean a minimal change. In others, it will be a more substantial increase.
In addition to this, for those living in Northern, Midland and Central regions, the old family rate will now be included in the Informal Carer rate. This will mean that eligible family members (as outlined below) will be reimbursed a rate that is equal to non-family members.

From 01 November 2007, the new rates will be:

Informal Carers - $76 per day (GST exclusive) for a 24 hour period
Formal Providers - $85.50 per day (GST inclusive) for a 24 hour period

You can still use Carer Support Claim Forms with the old rates printed on them. These will paid at the new rates where the support has taken place after 01 November 2007.

The disabled person and/or their full-time carers have the choice over who provides informal Carer Support services and so are responsible for the type and quality of support received.

The following outlines who can claim carer support payments:
Informal Carers
Informal carers are people who provide relief care in an informal setting such as a domestic dwelling. They are engaged to provide the relief support directly by the full-time carer.
These carers are typically friends, neighbours, other people or some family members (please see below for which family members are able to claim carer support) who provide relief support outside the umbrella of a formal provider organisation.

Which family members can claim carer support?
Carer Support can be paid to family members who are not the full-time carer of the disabled person and who do not live at the same address as the disabled person. A family member, in this instance, is defined as a grandparent, grandchild, daughter, son, sister, brother, aunt or uncle.

The following family members cannot be paid carer support to provide relief support for their disabled family member:

• Spouses, partners, parents and other full-time carers. Please note that spouses, even if they do not live at the same address as the disabled person, cannot claim carer support.
• Other family members who live at the same address as the disabled person.

Formal Providers
Formal providers are relief carers who provide support in a formal/commercial setting and/or via an organisation. These providers include organisations such as rest homes, private and public hospitals, professional home workers, voluntary organisations, day care centres etc.

If have any queries about the Carer Support Subsidy please do not hesitate to call HealthPAC on freephone number 0800 281 222.

Yours sincerely,
Geraldine Woods
Deputy Director-General return to top
Health and Disability National Services Directorate

Crepe Paper decorations: Christmas’ past.
As a child growing up we just simply could not wait for the day when we got home from school to find our Mother had put up the hand made decorations in the kitchen. Bright colorful ribbons of crepe paper danced across the kitchen ceiling. Twisted some and criss-cross folded others. In each corner hung a Christmas bell. They were flat and when you opened them up and clipped the clip, they presented as a most pretty bell. The Christmas tree of course was a real pine and took pride of place in the lounge. They even hung colourful lights outside the house. Not like the little ones you see today, these were the real McCoy, a full sized coloured light bulb. Christmas eve all the Aunts and Uncles would come over, Blackberry Nip, Sherry and Pims come to mind, I suppose the men had a beer, being a female child I was only interested in the Ladies (my Aunts) who were beautiful and teetered ever so carefully upon very, very high stilettos, and boy could they talk!

The children all played outside until dark and then we were allowed in to have brief visits with them all. How old was I then, perhaps 10, my, that was 48 years ago, I wonder does anyone put up decorations in their kitchen today?
Getting Kids to Listen: Four Easy Steps by Gayle Peterson, PhD
Q: I am the mother of three children, ages two through nine years. I have great kids, but they often do not listen to what I tell them to do. Things can get so chaotic that it drives me crazy. What can a mother do?
A: Your dilemma is a common one in this day and age. Our parents' generation was very adult centered. Children were to be seen and not heard. The pendulum has swung, but it need not go overboard. It is possible to empower your children and still retain parental authority. return to top

You have done a good job of listening to your children; Now it is time for them to also listen to you. However, do not mistake establishing your authority to mean you are authoritarian. You have clearly established a democratic atmosphere that has given your children a voice in the family. But your leadership is required. The following guidelines for discipline will help you clarify who is in charge in your family.

1. Communicate your expectations clearly.
Pitfall: Some parents express what they want their child do by including a child's feelings as a part of the communication. For example: "Let's get in the car. I know you want to go to grandma's, don't you?"
Say, instead: "I want you to get in your car seat now. We are going to grandma's house.”

2. Accept your child's feelings, but reinforce your expectations.
Pitfall: Expecting your child to show enthusiasm or contentment about doing what is required.
Instead, be willing to reflect your child's negative feelings about doing what you require, but do not negate what you expect. For example: "Grandma is waiting for us. You must get in your car seat. I know you are sad about having to leave your friends right now. You will be able to play again another day.”

3. Communicate and deliver consequences.
Pitfalls: Many parents resort to yelling, instead of communicating and delivering consequences in a matter-of-fact tone. Or they do not follow through on consequences they communicate because they threaten inappropriately in the heat of anger.
Instead, accept complaints, but clarify what will happen if they do not listen. For example: "If you do not get in your car seat by the count of three, I will put you in myself." Or, for an older child, "If you do not do your homework, you will not be able to watch your TV program." Be sure you make appropriate consequences that you are willing to deliver. Then, follow through! (Note: Yelling is not a viable consequence, and only leads to escalation!)
Expect to follow through on your consequences BEFORE your children will listen. It will take one, two or three times for your child to know that you mean what you say, especially if you have been resorting to whining or complaining instead of being authoritative (which we all do at one time or another).

4. Separate your child's behavior from their self-esteem. Label a behavior "bad," but not your child's motives or character.
Pitfall: To confuse behavior with character labels. For example: "No hitting! Only bad boys hit."
Instead, "Hitting is a bad thing to do to others. You must learn to use your words." Or to an older child when addressing a bad mistake. "You are not a thief. Why in the world did you steal that lipstick?" Separating behavior from action allows children to learn from their mistakes, rather than be condemned by them.

It is our job as parents to guide our children. We must be willing to accept anger and other negative feelings when we set appropriate limits. As long as your expectations are reasonable for your child's age, you may successfully adopt the role of benevolent dictator when necessary.
As parents you have your children's best interests at heart. You have raised them to give you their input. Pat yourself on the back. They will feel empowered to express themselves and be able to influence the direction of their destiny in their adult lives.
But do not stop short of taking charge. Your calm leadership is necessary to create a stable environment. Children and parents flourish in an atmosphere that promotes order over chaos return to top

Support Group Co-Ordinators
Locality Name Phone Mobile Phone E-mail Address
Auckland - North Bonnie Williams 09 473 9055 0274 739 058 willingclan@xtra.co.nz
Auckland - Central Janet Keats 09 6301625
Auckland - South Virginia Peebles 09 256 1620
Auckland - West Dominique Young 09 817 8762 dique@xtra.co.nz
Auckland – East Anne van der Straaten 09 575 9555 027 279 8443 annebru@xtra.co.nz
Christchurch Jan Farquhar 03 3136487 farlaw@xtra.co.nzDannevirke Sandra Horton 06 3745029 hortons_546@xtra.co.nz
Dargaville Myna Bristow 09 439 2489
Dunedin North Nanette McKendry 03 4738105 m.mckendry@xtra.co.nz
Dunedin South Bromwyn Turner 03 454 6920 bob_bromwyn@msn.com
Geraldine Trisha Reader 03 6939558 trisha.r@xtra.co.nz
Gore Jennifer Miller 0800 472637
Hamilton Lynn Falconer 07 855 7280 lafynn@xtra.co.nz
Helensville Maree Hemana 09 420 8218 mhemana@xtra.co.nz
Hokitika Fran Edwards 03 755 8142
Huntly Lodi Liebert 07 8286123 rulo@paradise.net.nz
Invercargill Christine Marsh 03 2169773 chrisandBob@kol.co.nz
Kapiti Coast David Johnsen 04 9022562 djohnsen@paradise.net.nz
Kaitaia Irene Turner-Crombie 09 408 3446 iturnercrombie@hotmail.com
Kaitaia Jan Spinley 021 323 869 JanS@farnorthreap.org.nz
Levin Colleen Pene 06 368 6688 027 319 5300 colleenpene@yahoo.com.au
Marton Tammy Tuakimoana 06 327 5213 lscribe@quicksilver.net.nz
Napier Nola Adams 06 845 3141 laceforme@hotmail.comNelson Mrs Paula Eggers 03 544 5714 paulaeggers2000@yahoo.com.au
Norsewood Denise Henman denise.henman@xtra.co.nz
Oamaru Dianne Kinsella 03 437 0414 diannekinsella@e3.net.nz
Otago Aad & Leonie 03 465 1764 omaandopa@xtra.co.nz
New Plymouth Kathryn Kanara 07 7579200 kathrynkanara@slingshot.co.nz
Stratford Sue Stannard 06 765 5338 Taumarunui Rangimahora Mahu 07 8956626
Taupo Carol Martin 07 376 8222 ttcadmin@xtra.co.nz
Tauranga Colleen Ross 07 578 5341 ROSSGE39@xtra.co.nz
Te Awamutu Rangitaia Crowley 07 8713781 CrowleyR@waikatodhb.govt.nz
Te Kuiti Esmay Astle 07 8787839
Thames Tricia Barker 07 868 8650 tricia.barker@xtra.co.nz
Upper Hutt Margaret Pearson 04 976 9475 maggiemagpie@paradise.net.nz
Upper Hutt Barbara Jeffries 04 526 4318
Wairarapa Anne Styles 06 377 3440
Wanganui Mary Kauika 06 3438242 kauika@xtra.co.nz
Wellington Cecilee Donovan 04 477 0632
Whakatane Shirley Faulkner 07 322 8524 021 038 8003 shirleyfaulkner@xtra.co.nz
Whangamata Sue McGregor 07 865 6321 return to top
Whangarei Janet Puriri 09 435 0044 jpuriri@ihug.co.nz

Seasons greetings!
On behalf of the GRG Trust Board, we extend warmest season’s greetings and safe holidays for one and all. Remember to take care of yourselves as the children you raise need you!

Di
National Convenor and the team.