Carer Data base: 3675
Greetings, Kia Ora koutou katoa hope this finds you all well.
We now have 46 GRG Support Groups: WOW!
Budget and Kinship Increases:
First and foremost we give thanks. Thanks to the good Lord, thanks
to Labour and importantly, thanks to you and our many supporters.
For over many years you have rallied to our cause by emailing and
writing to members of Parliament, visiting them. Getting on talk-back
radio, newspaper articles, public speeches and in general spreading
the word. We only needed to send you an email or advice through
our National newsletters asking that you do this and YOU DID.
When we were invited to the Budget Lock-down we thought something
was in the wind for us. Our best scenario we thought would be parity
for those on their Super, so you can imagine how excited we were
to find it was across the board. We know it may not seem a lot of
money to some, but for so many struggling families it will make
a difference. Yes we know it is frustrating that it does not come
into action until April 09.
The GRG Trust now moves into phase 2 and that is to address the
issues of the “add ons” Those who take on their whanau
from CYF care and protection today have the advantage of “Support
Orders”, but for those who step in with no CYF involvement,
or where Support Orders were not in place, are a different kettle
of fish. And that will be a much harder job! We also need to address
this issue of increases on April 09 with National, to ensure they
will honour the announcement for us in Labours Budget should they
win the next election. Our work has just begun………….You
could help with ground swell here, please phone or ask your local
National MP if they will honour the Budget announcement.
We would like to take this opportunity to thank so many of you
who emailed with congratulations to us! It was deeply humbling,
I was jumping and dancing around the place and must say here, my
grand-daughters thought we had won Lotto! Well to me it felt like
it, as I was so happy for you all. We had a share of the win for
7500 caregivers and their children.
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Judy Turner: Yay for grandparents!!
UnitedFuture is delighted that the government has finally chosen
to respond to the needs of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren in
New Zealand and has closed the gap between kinship caregivers and
foster parents in the money paid for child support.
Family spokesperson Judy Turner said “UnitedFuture feels like
it has been the proverbial dripping tap on this for nearly six years
and we are thrilled that this step has finally been taken. “However
there are additional steps that we will now encourage future budgets
to include. “ This package does not entitle grandparents to
the additional allowances that foster parents receive for the range
of extra expenses like school fees and pocket money that are over
and above the basic needs children have. “Most grandparents
who find themselves in this predicament raising their grandchildren
make huge financial sacrifices to provide a safe home for these
children. “They forgo employment, re-mortgage themselves to
buy the bigger home needed, often have huge legal bills to establish
safe custodial arrangements for the children, plus all the many
costs associated with raising children. “If they are superannuitants
the stories become even grimmer, with grandparents often having
to decide between filling their own prescriptions and school trips
for the children.Ends
GRG Trust Media: 9 years in the making:
The Budget announcement has corrected the long standing difference
between the basic Foster Care payments and Kinship payments to Whanau
where they step in to raise family members who can not be cared
for by the parents, say Grandparents raising Grandchildren Trust
NZ. We are delighted that our collective voices have at long last
been heard, said the Trusts National Convenor Diane Vivian. Disappointingly
these wonderful people who care for NZ’s most vulnerable have
to wait for 10 months before this happens. Children in NZ are still
better off in State care because of the add on extras, via clothing
allowances etc, this accounts to an extra $2356.16 per year for
a 14 year old in Foster Care. ENDS
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SuperGold benefits for
travel, hearing aids
Press Release by New Zealand Government at 3:23 pm, 22 May 2008
SuperGold Card holders will reap the rewards of government enhancements
in this year's Budget, Associate Minister of Senior Citizens Winston
Peters announced today.
"Budget 2008 contains $72 million over four years to provide
free off-peak travel for SuperGold Card holders on all forms of
public transport, and $18 million over four years to fund a significant
increase in the subsidy for hearing aids," Mr Peters said.
"Free off-peak travel on public transport will ensure SuperGold
Card holders enjoy far greater access to their local communities.
Buses, trains and ferries are a critical means of getting about
for many of our seniors, and this step will ensure that cost will
no longer be a barrier for their travel plans," he said. Land
Transport New Zealand and the Ministry of Transport are currently
working with regional councils and transport providers to implement
this policy and more details on launch dates will be released as
they become available. There has been a positive response from all
those involved and a commitment to deliver on the programme as soon
as possible.
"Hearing aids are also an increasingly helpful item for many
seniors as they try to maintain their quality of life. The subsidy
for hearing aids will increase from $198 to $500 from 1 October
(GST inclusive) for SuperGold Card holders 65 and over. Increasing
the subsidy will improve access to, and the affordability of, hearing
aids. "We are working with the government on a second round
of enhancements, which will include rebates on power when electricity
enters the Emissions Trading Scheme.
"Thanks to the huge support from businesses, New Zealand's
SuperGold Card offers more than similar cards in several Australian
states. The additional government subsides announced today mean
that New Zealand's seniors are now starting to get the recognition
they deserve," Mr Peters said. The Budget allocations add to
the baselines of Vote Transport (for public transport) and Vote
Health (for hearing aids), and cover the next four years and out
years. ENDS Also remember too the increases to Super coming up.
NEW GRG Support Groups:
Papakura/Franklin:
We are delighted to let you know that Aylson Wilcock is starting
a group for this area. Thank you Alyson. Phone 09 296 2718 email
alyson.wilcock@xtra.co.nz or mobile 021 948508
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Panmure/Glen Innes/Pt England East Auckland:
We are still looking for someone to facilitate this group, if interested
phone Alison on 09 445 9671
Napier GRG Support group news:
The group is going very well and growing rapidly. We hold our meetings
at 10.30am at the Napier R.S.A in a private room, cost free with
tea. We then proceed onto the dining room for a lovely lunch at
12pm and stay there till about 2.30pm. All gran’s enjoy this
as it gives them a whole day to themselves, a meal with adults,
and time with Kin carers alike. One grand now runs the "suitcase"
which has passed on clothing both for Gran’s and children.
Contact GRG Co Nola on 06 845 3141
New parenting website
Stuck on how to deal with a parenting issue? The Families Commission
has launched a new website for parents, that offers, hints, tips
and links to organisations on a variety of parenting topics. Drop
in for ideas on how to deal with moody teenagers through to keeping
the kids busy on a rainy day.
www.families.org.nz/parenting
Smile:
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of
years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him
fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear
100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and
the doctor asked what it was like to hear the family again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I
just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my
will three times!"
Child Youth and Family Crisis
line 24 hours Phone (free) 0508 227 377 or 0508 CARERS
This has recently been established to give additional support to
CYF caregivers (your children must be under CYF) Please use this
service when your care team are not available.
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Severe Behaviour Service
Summary: This service provides advice and specialist support for
children and young people with the most severe behaviour difficulties.
Services are also provided for their early childhood education centres,
schools and families. Support is provided by GSE behaviour teams.
Ministry of Education, Special Education (GSE) behaviour specialists
work with children in the early childhood sector whose behaviour
is disruptive towards others, and with children and young people
in schools who display severe and challenging behaviour. This is
behaviour that may endanger themselves or others, damage property,
or affect the child or young person's social interactions and learning.
Services may be available for students with disabilities under the
Ongoing and Reviewable Resourcing Schemes (ORRS), as well as other
students presenting with challenging behaviour. Behaviour services
are usually provided to students Year 10 and below, unless they
are ORRS funded and eligible to receive services until they leave
school,
The effectiveness of the GSE behaviour service is reliant on working
with the child or young person's whanau or family and those educators
who have day to day contact with them.
The focus of the behaviour service is to work with these people
to understand the reason for a child or young person's difficult
behaviour and develop programmes and interventions that enable them
to learn new and more positive behaviours and ways of being with
others.
Service provision for children and young people with severe behaviour
difficulties often requires short term strategies to manage the
most difficult behaviours while strategies to develop long term
positive change are developed.
Service provision is guided by well documented service standards
and GSE is always working to improve and refine their behaviour
service in line with best international practice.
Early childhood services and schools report growing numbers of children
who are displaying severe behaviour difficulties at an earlier age.
This means that an increasing number of children are starting school
with disruptive behaviour and deficits in essential language skills
that are necessary to successfully engage with the school academic
curriculum. These children display both social and academic difficulties,
they have problems forming social relationships and are often rejected
by their peers.
Early behaviour difficulties that predict long term problems are
easily identifiable. Studies show that effective early intervention
programmes stop progression onto more serious difficulties.
Parenting of children with behaviour difficulties is challenging.
A range of parenting programmes have been developed to help parents
develop more effective skills to intervene earlier with children
who experience these difficulties.
Cognitive-behaviour parenting programmes have consistently been
found to be more effective with younger children, when child problems
and parenting patterns are less well established and when parents
can still more easily influence their children's behaviour. One
programme series that time and again shows evidence of effectiveness
across a variety of settings and countries is called the Incredible
Years.
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The Incredible Years programme
series: This programme has been highly recommended by our
Caregivers.
Incredible Years has three parts. These developmentally-based programmes
for parents, teachers and children are designed to promote emotional
and social competence and to prevent, reduce, and treat behavioural
and emotional problems in young children. The programmes' goals
are to strengthen families by improving parenting skills, increase
teacher competencies and home-school links and develop children's
social and problem solving skills in order to reduce severe behaviour
difficulties.
The Incredible Years programme targets children aged two to eight
years who are at risk for and/or presenting with behaviour problems
(defined as high rates of aggression, defiance, oppositional and
impulsive behaviours). All GSE districts are currently building
their capability to deliver parent programmes. Once these are well
established around the country GSE will look at developing their
capability to deliver the other parts of the Incredible Years programme
series.
In some districts GSE is offering the Incredible Years parent programme
in partnership with local agencies or Child and Adolescent Mental
Health Services. Children for the programme are identified through
the GSE referral process and through working with schools, early
childhood education centres and other agencies. The core of the
programme for parents emphasises increasing their skills such as:
how to play with children, helping children to learn, effective
praise and incentives, effective limit-setting, and strategies to
handle difficult behaviour.
Evidence of the programme's effectiveness has been measured on a
number of scales across a range of cultural settings. Studies of
effectiveness have found the following improvements in the child
and their environment:
• increases in positive parenting and decreases in the use
of discipline by parents
• reductions in behaviour problems and increases in the child's
social competence
• increases in children's positive behaviour and cooperation
• reduction in aggression by other children towards the child.
Studies also show these positive changes are sustained over time.
For further information:
• phone your nearest GSE office
• phone the Special Education Information Line 0800 622 222
• or you can email special.education@minedu.govt.nz.
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Your Reactive Attachment or
Post traumatic Stressed Child:
Children who have suffered past abuse and trauma: Natural Consequences
Natural consequences are recommended by virtually all professionals.
Consequences are designed to promote responsibility, correct mistakes,
make up for what's been done wrong, and simply to become competent
and capable. A consequence can be something as simple as wiping
up a glass of spilled milk. Or it may be washing the entire floor
of a room after the child has urinated on it.
Consequences should never be dangerous, demeaning or humiliating.
Consequences should avoid replicating in any way the abandonment
of the child. Sending a child with RAD or PTSD to her room, or even
to a time out chair can be a reminder of being "thrown in the
trash" by her birthmother. Many children explode into violent
rages at this sort of discipline. Rather, having the child sit close
by mom for a "time-in," while mom conveys her love with
warm touches, smiles and eye contact can help the child calm and
get back on track.
"I do non-deprivation, non-punitive, non-violent, non-threatening
parenting," says Walt Buenning. "For instance when kids
underachieve at school, I never take anything away. I don't take
TV away, I don't take girlfriends away, I don't take friends away,
I don't take computer away, I don't take the phone away, I don't
take fun away, I just say: 'Sally, I want you to have more fun than
any other kid. But, you can have your fun after you do your homework.
Sit down here. You can sit and study or you can sit and get ready
to study. But you can't play, you can't phone, you can't watch TV,
you can't be on the computer, you can't talk to girl friends or
boy friends until your homework is done. As soon as your homework
is done, I hope you have lots of fun.' I'm not into deprivation;
I'm into obedience and responsibility. Because what can you take
away from a kid who has already lost her birthmother that is going
to be worse than that?"
Cuddling
Movement and touch are the most important parts of nurturing a child
¬ even more than feeding. Babies who are not touched at all,
even if they are fed, will die. Babies who are not touched enough
will be traumatized. It is safe to say that most, if not all, post-institutionalised
infants have not received enough touching.
Touch and love are synonymous. But touch has been ruined for traumatized
children. Touch has become synonymous with love and the threat of
love going away. According to Walt Buenning, for attachment disordered
children, touching either tickles or hurts, unless they ask for
it or are in control of it. If left to their own devices, they would
do what feels safe and right and learn to live without touch - and
starve their soul in the process.
Therefore, parents need to provide as much touching, cuddling and
bottle feeding for their new children as possible. These children
should be parented according to their emotional age, not their chronological
age. Deborah Gray writes about this extensively in Attaching in
Adoption. A child who has just been adopted is one day old, emotionally.
A child who is two years old, but was adopted at age one, is one
year old emotionally. She may still need to be fed by mom, with
several bottles and cuddling throughout the day. Even older children
(and adults!) need cuddles.
Cuddling and singing special songs about the family is a morning
ritual that can set a loving tone for the rest of the day.
Routines
Traumatized children are very sensitive to changes in routines,
transitions and new situations. Long anticipated birthday parties
and holidays can become scenes of meltdowns. Vacations can become
a nightmare, especially when the child is not sure she will be returning
home!
Attachment therapist Daniel Hughes, PhD (Building the Bonds of Attachment)
urges mothers to provide structure and set the rhythm of the day
that will help the child feel safe: a morning routine which is the
same each day for waking, washing, dressing, feeding pets, eating
breakfast, and going to school. On weekends, the morning routine
can be the same, but instead of school, start chores. Make time
each day for free play and special times for cuddling. Have meals
at the same time each day, and a comforting bedtime routine. Scheduling
something like Chinese food on Friday nights can become a fun ritual.
When the day is going to contain a special event, it is important
to prepare the child ahead of time by describing the event and explaining
what behaviour is expected of the child. When the special or new
event is something that may be traumatizing for the child, such
as starting school or a field trip where the child will be getting
on a bus without mom, Deborah Gray, (Attaching in Adoption) recommends
drawing a small book that the child can take with her. It is important
that the book include a beginning picture of the child at home with
her family, and the child returning home to her family at the end.
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Chores
Chores are widely used as a therapeutic activity in many programs,
from treating substance abuse at the Betty Ford Clinic to treating
children with PTSD and RAD. Having a daily routine which includes
chores helps reduce anxiety by teaching competence and instilling
self-esteem. Doing chores helps children attach by contributing
to the family and learning from their parents.
Chores are also useful as natural consequences. An extra chore might
be assigned to pay mom back for taking up too much of her time with
bad behaviour. Deborah Gray recommends that an offending child do
the chore of a sibling she has victimized, as restitution.
Children as young as 18 months of age can begin by helping to put
away their toys. Putting away the forks, spoons and butter knives
becomes a matching game for toddlers. Many children on the Attach-China
list are routinely helping with laundry, making their beds, folding
and putting away their own clothes, setting the table, feeding and
cleaning up after pets, unloading dishwashers and helping with yard
work by the age of 5.
Cuddling should be interspersed with chores and given as a reward
for a job well done. Nancy Thomas talks more specifically about
chores in her book, "When Love is Not Enough."
Validating Feelings
As parents, one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is
to listen to them and understand and accept what they are telling
us. When an infant cries, it is up to the parents to interpret her
message. Baby cries and Mom responds with empathy; "Oh, sweetie,
you're hungry. Let's get your bottle." Or change your diaper,
or take off your sweater, you're too hot or you need Mommy, you're
sad. Through thousands of these interactions, infants learn how
to interpret and name their feelings, including the basic emotions
of happy, sad, mad, surprised, etc.
Many Post Institutionalised children have missed out on these crucial
steps as infants, and thus can not easily identify their bodily
sensations or understand that they are entitled to have their physical
and emotional needs met - even after being in their permanent homes
for years. They spent too much time as infants having their hunger,
pain and physical and emotional discomfort ignored. They may not
recognize the beginning feelings of hunger and know that it is OK
to ask to be fed. They wait until they are ravenous. They may need
to be reminded over and over that they have options in clothing
which will keep them comfortable - neither too hot nor too cold.
Parents may need to take extra time teaching their PI children how
to identify and express their bodily sensations and emotions. Parents
need to take their children back through those early stages so that
they can be mastered.
As they get older, many PI children are often unable to talk directly
about what is bothering them. They often may not even know what's
bothering them, themselves. Instead, they act out or have a meltdown.
Many Attach-China parents have found that Holding Time enables the
child to come to a place where she is able to identify and communicate
what is bothering her. Other parents have found that simply paying
attention and listening is enough to get their child to open up.
Parents are then able to validate their child's feelings in either
case ¬ "you must have been so mad" or "I understand
why that hurt your feelings." An excellent explanation of this
process is in the book, How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen
So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish.
Because of missing out on having their needs met on demand as infants,
PI children may have difficulty learning empathy and how to read
social cues. Children with RAD tend to experience themselves as
either a victims or the boss, so they often have difficulty presenting
themselves in an appealing way to other children. Extra time and
attention may need to be given to learning the social skills of
making and keeping friends.
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Sleep Issues
Sleep issues, including night terrors, waking at night and insomnia
(fear of or inability to fall asleep), are undoubtedly the most
commonly reported challenge of parents of internationally adopted
children. The American ideal of sleeping alone in your own room
is opposite from that of most other cultures in the world, which
favour the family bed. And the family bed is the solution that most
Attach-China Families have found for their children's sleep problems.
Children who have spent time in orphanages were undoubtedly left
on their own at night, with little or no comforting for hunger,
teething, or other discomforts. In addition, things that go bump
in the night are much scarier for an infant when she is alone in
the dark. Children who are unused to sleeping alone will naturally
have a fear of it, along with a greater need for comfort at night.
It is important for adoptive parents to teach their children that
night time in their new home will be different than in the orphanage.
Parents need to understand that their children's fears at night
time are real, and they need to consistently respond to them in
order to develop a trusting relationship. Mary Hopkins, author of
Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft writes:
"Always assume that a request for parental contact and comforting
represents a need for a toddler [or infant] struggling to develop
attachment and meet that need on demand, day or night. Parents need
to reframe their thoughts about getting up at night with a new toddler
as a wonderful opportunity to build attachment, rather than a dreaded
chore. Do NOT leave an adopted toddler [or infant] alone crying
at night as often recommended by many parent discipline specialists.
The techniques of temporary segregation and isolation are for children
who are securely attached, not for toddlers [and infants] learning
to trust that their parents will meet their needs in a loving and
responsive manner."
Books which advise that infants need to learn to put themselves
to sleep were written for biological, secure children. PI children
have had many months of putting themselves to sleep.
Many children stop having night terrors once they are sleeping in
their parents' bed. Mom is able to easily calm a child by placing
a hand on her back or holding her firmly just as a night terror
or nightmare is about to begin, thus averting a prolonged episode.
Often children who are having nightmares will wake up, see that
mom is there in bed, and be comforted enough to go back to sleep
instead of fully waking and crying. Mom is able to monitor a sick
child more easily as well. All members of the family have their
sleep disrupted less often in the family bed.
Parents of anxiously attached children report that their children
become less anxious by being able to sleep with their parents. Parents
whose children are avoidant report that sleeping with them helps
the child to be more attached and more comfortable with a higher
degree of closeness.
It is recommended that all newly adopted children, no matter what
age, be given a bottle and rocked before bed (parent the emotional
age of the child). Establish a bedtime ritual which may include
stories or special songs. Stay with the child until she is falling
asleep. It may be necessary to provide extra comfort by way of rubbing,
patting or just touching her back until she is deeply asleep. It
may also be helpful to let the child sleep in Mom's shirt or on
a pillowcase that has mom's scent on it. Children with severe anxiety
about going to sleep may benefit by a Holding Time at bedtime.
Even children who have been home for years may have trouble falling
asleep. Parents can still stay in the room, on or next to the family
bed to provide comfort. But they do not need to be drawn into a
control battle or be manipulated into giving the child attention.
It can be made clear that when it is bedtime for children, it is
quiet time for grown-ups, and children need to go to sleep or play
quietly in their beds. Mom will sit by the bed until the child falls
asleep. Mom will see and talk to the child in the morning, but now
Mom is going to read or watch TV with the headphones on and the
child is going to sleep!
Most families report that children who have grown up with the family
bed naturally move to sleeping in their own bed at about age 7.
http://www.attach-china.org/parenting.html
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You Wrote:
Our Grand-daughters: Well done girls!
Jazz and Irish dancing....phew!! Got exam results:
Sarah – Jazz = Commended and Gold Medal Claire – Irish
= Commended and Gold Medal
Sarah – Classic Ballet = Credit Claire – Classical Ballet
= Commended
Proud Nan & Poppa
Memories and Bonding:
14 and 6 foot grandson needed to earn some money, grandfather 60
no longer could clip the hedge from a high fence, so tools were
gathered and task begun. This job took 2 hours so grandfather gave
instructions and support. As I walked past where they were working
and I heard Pop singing: eew ee eew arr arr ting tang walla walla
a bing bang. Grandson said, I remember that song, you used to sing
it to me when I was little. But his next words nearly dropped me
to the ground in laughter. “Pop”, he said, “In
40 years time when you have altziemers, what am I going to do with
you, put you in a rest home?” Quick as a wink Pop said, but
I am already there, I rest at home”. If Pop lasts till 100
before he gets altziemers he will be doing very well! ??
A note on my Pillow:
Grand-daughter left me a note. It read: To Nan, Some people touch
our lives only briefly. While you, leave a lasting impression and
are never forgotten. ?
What is happening out there?
We are hearing from more and more distraught Grandparents that the
birth mother has given birth yet again. This will make the 6th –
10th baby. And the birth mother’s have none of the other children.
They are scattered amongst different fathers and the grandparents
(maternal and paternal), including some in foster care. In one case
all the children have been the same sex and birth mother has stated
she will continue until she gets the opposite sex. In some of these
cases it would be fair to say that there are mental health are issues
for the birth mother’s. Snip, snip. Yes we do know about human
rights. But it does make one wonder.
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The School Ball:
Jordan is almost 16 years old and this year, Year 11, he is eligible
to go to the Seniors ball.
It started when the tickets came on sale some two months ago and
he definitely wanted to go, oh yeah, it would be cool."Do you
want a suit - it is a formal event." "No, what would I
want a suit for?" "So what will you wear?" "Oh
I'll work something out" (Which being interpreted means I’ll
see what my mates are wearing and make sure I'm up with the play,
but a bit better than theirs) One week before the ball again I ask
what are you planning on wearing to the ball. "I don't know,
will you take me down town and I'll get something." After two
fruitless trips to town I take him to the local Save Mart - (a rather
costly used clothing shop) where he found a pair of black trousers,
which he thought were pretty good. He said he would wear a rather
beautiful black shirt his older brother had given him with said
trousers. "What about a tie?" "I don't need a tie"
"But it’s a formal dress event." "Yeah but
I don't want a tie." Eventually we got to the point where"
A silver tie would be good" Three days to go to the ball ,no
silver tie to be found, no silver material he approved of for Grandma
to make a tie. And what are you going to wear on your feet? "oh
, my new white shoes that I got last month(now not quite so new
and definitely not quite so white).Ok. I'll hire shoes. Day of the
ball - a day off school to allow for preparations and we get to
the nitty gritty. Enter Aunie Raina with a white pinstripe shirt
and a very nice waistcoat/ vest, with muted flowers and in colours
very becoming for him. Try on the outfit. Trousers need shortening,
belt needs to be blackened." What shall I wear instead of a
tie?" "What about a taonga?" Back down town to get
a hair cut and the hired shoes. When he came out of the shop he
also had a red tie. Then it was the shower, shave, smellies etc.
After a discussion about sports socks not being quite appropriate
he reluctantly agreed to wear a pair of black dress socks(Grandma's
sock collection has its uses) Eventually, hair done, clothes on,
now how to tie a tie. Again Grandma knows a thing or two and lo
and behold one handsome young man all ready for the big night. BUT”I’m
not going so early, it doesn’t take that long to get down
town, I don't think I'll go,"
After rather heated exchanges he reluctantly got in the car with
his mate and we set of for the venue. We get to Forum North the
venue, and start to drive around the carpark to let him off. There
are lots of groups of excited students, most of the boys wearing
suits, although few had vests and the girls looking variously elegant
,showy or a bit over the top. "I'm not getting out. Come on
lets go home. I'm not going." If he hadn't had a mate with
him I don’t think we could have got him out of the car! As
he got out he was ripping off the vest, untucking his shirt and
beginning to look like a real scruff. However as soon as the door
shut we drove off. Fortunately mate's guardian was picking them
up.
Next morning I asked how the ball had gone - Choice!
God grant that I never have to get a girl ready for such a momentous
event.
Helping Children and Families/Whanau
Through Times of Change, Loss, Trauma and Grief
www.skylight.org.nz
Skylight is a national charitable trust supporting children, young
people and their families/whanau who have been affected by change,
loss, trauma and grief – whatever the cause. Our work helps
them to live with life’s losses, to build on their natural
resilience, and to move forward. It might be….
illness ? disability ? injury ? death and dying ? family break
up ? step family challenges
homesickness ? domestic violence ? homicide ? suicide ? accidents
? disasters ? moving
disappointments ? relationship breakdowns ? abuse ? crime ? prison
? bullying ? gambling ·
alcoholism ? drug addiction ? witnessing trauma ? absent parents
? arriving in a new country
Skylight also equips, supports, trains and resources the caregivers,
relatives, friends, neighbours, workmates, community groups and
professionals caring for them.
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What does Skylight offer Grandparents Raising Grandchildren
and their families?
-NZ’s most extensive specialist National Resource and Information
Service focusing on issues of change, loss, trauma and grief
- their impact on children, teens and adults, and ways to support
and help effectively. We provide resources for all ages (books,
info sheets, games, DVDs etc) for loan and for purchase. Call 0800
299 100 or email rs@skylight-trust.org.nz for a catalogue or check
out the skylight shop listings at www.skylight.org.nz Items can
be bought by credit card or invoiced for. Grandparents and their
families are welcome to come in and visit the centre in Newtown,
Wellington. Just phone first and come between 9.30 and 3.30.
- We also tailor make personalised information and support packs
for different children or family members who are facing tough situations,
on request. Call us on 0800 299 100 to talk about your needs or
email rs@skylight-trust.org.nz (A donation/koha is requested to
help us cover the costs of this service.)
- A Website that features helpful articles for parents, families,
as well as online resource purchasing and photocopiable activities
for children. See www.skylight.org.nz
- A Counselling and Group Support Service that is currently only
available in the Wellington/Hutt/Kapiti regions. In this region,
Skylight offers individual or family group counselling and a range
of children’s support groups. (Current groups: bereavement,
family break up and when a family member has a mental illness.)
We hope to extend this service to other regions in time. Phone 04
920 9967 for further details.
- Education and Professional Development Training that’s tailored
to the specific needs of different groups or agencies. Call 0800
299 100 or email ed@skylight-trust.org.nz to arrange training for
your staff, or staff in your local area.
Contact skylight:
Phone: 0800 299 100 or 04 939 6767
Email: rs@skylight-trust.org.nz
Visit: 2nd floor, 143-145 Riddiford Street, Newtown, Wellington.
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Love is:
People often comment how lovely it is to see two elderly people
still in love, as when walking my husband always holds me under
my arm and our hands are clasped. We have a private laugh about
this, if he did not I would fall over as I have trouble with balance.
?
Fabulous Feijoa Muffins:
75g butter, melted
1 cup finely chopped feijoa flesh (try not to have the hard outer
part)
2 eggs
finely grated rind of 1 orange
1/4 cup of orange juice
3/4cup of sugar
2 cups self raising flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tblsp sugar
In a large bowl, heat butter until it is liquid.
Halve feijoas and scoop out centres. Chop feijoas into pieces no
bigger than peas. Pack into cup measure. Mix this into the melted
butter with a fork.
Add the unbeaten eggs, orange rind, and the juice of the orange
made up to volume with a little lemon juice. Mix until everything
is combined.
Sprinkle the sugar and flour over the mixture in the bowl and fold
it in without over mixing.( If you have used to much firm feijoa
flesh you may need to add a little extra juice or milk to reach
usual muffin consistency.) Divide mixture into 12 medium or 24 mini
muffin pans which have been buttered or sprayed Mix the cinnamon
and second measure of sugar and sprinkle it on muffins, Bake at
210 C for about 10-15 mins, until the centres spring back when pressed.
Variation:
For Raspberry and Feijoa Muffins add an extra 1/4 cup of sugar and
fold in 1 cup of frozen raspberries. Gran Shirley
We All need a Susie once in a while:
WET PANTS
Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old
kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between
his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart
is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has
happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the
boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find
out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.
The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down
and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help
now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.' He looks up from his
prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says
he has been discovered.
As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is
carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips
in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water
in the boy's lap.
The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself,
'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'
Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the
boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs
and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All
the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around
his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it,
the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone
else - Susie.
She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough,
you klutz!'
Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus,
the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose,
didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too.'
May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us
to do good...
Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any
more than standing in your garage makes you a car. Each and everyone
one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting
ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.
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E te Atua, aroha mai..... O God shower us with love
Ka kite
Please feel free to send this report on to others whom you think
may be interested:
• Please pass this on to other grandparents/kin carers you
know of.
• Disclaimer: Views expressed in this newsletter may not be
the views of the GRG Trust.
• GRG Trust Head Office hours are 9am-3pm daily. (We raise
grandchildren too)
• We are totally a voluntary organisation.
• All donations to the GRG Trust are tax deductible.
