Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Charitable Trust Website

ph: (09)480-6530
9:00am - 3:00pm
fax: (09)480-6572
email: office@grg.org.nz
Trust Head Office:
PO Box 34-892
Birkenhead,
Auckland

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren ™ Charitable Trust 2005

SUBJECT: National Office. NZ. Report May 2004

Our Newsletter:

Some, positive feedback:

Thanks and keep up your good work! What you're doing is so important.

We receive your newsletter and read it most enthusiastically!

Thanks for the newsletter. It is something just for ME

Your newsletters make me laugh and sometimes cry. They are real!
Sometimes when I read your stories I can really relate to my own story. Thanks.
It is a relief to know you are there, thanks again.
I just cried when I came across your web site and realised I am not alone.
All my very heart-felt appreciation of your work.

Announcing a new NZ resource providing practical tools for parents, grandparents and carers

The Anger Toolbox - tools for parents and carers to help children and young people through angry times

Written by: Tricia Irving: (skylight) and John Taylor Smith (Principal Miramar Central School, Wgtn.) Photography by Sue Bannister

This colourful, easy to read book provides New Zealand parents, grandparents and carers with lots of practical ideas to help them manage and support children and teens through angry times.

There is also information about supporting angry young people through particularly difficult times of change, loss and grief.

"How to handle anger might be better caught than taught. This book will certainly help. Why not try it? It is sure worth a try." Hon Roger McClay – Former Commissioner for Children

Order your copy today - $18 plus postage and packaging.

An invoice will be sent with your book, or credit card details will also be accepted.

Contact: skylight free on 0800 299 100 or Fax: 04 939 4759 Email: ad@skylight-trust.org.nz

FAIR Centre of Barnardos

At the FAIR Centre, we provide families and whānau with reliable and accurate information and advice as they care, support and educate their children.

We achieve this in two ways:

A toll free phone help line providing information on community services, benefits and rights and other family issues.

Straight forward, easy to read information sheets designed for family members.

Information is primarily provided about:

Family, whānau, community, iwi and welfare services they can use.
Benefits and financial entitlements they may be able to access.
How to appeal decisions, make complaints or stand up for their rights.

The FAIR Centre also works for children by advocating on children’s issues, including submissions to parliamentary select committees, government departments and other Organisations.

Anyone can call and talk with a trained operator. The service is free, confidential and neutral. The phone is staffed between 8.30am–5.00pm, Monday to Friday. An answer phone is available outside these hours. Contact the FAIR Centre on 0800 222 345 or email us at: fair.centre@barnardos.org.nz

**** Don’t forget to post back your GRG research questions: ASAP please. ****

We need these back no later than June 8^th 2004

If you have already sent yours back we thank you.
If you have not received yours please contact us.

To Medicate a Child: Who is under the Mental Health Team?

Quiet a dilemma, do they or don’t they agree to this. In actual fact there was no choice; the mental health of the whole family was suffering, her older brother and both grandparents. She was screaming uncontrollably, pulling knives, putting her safety at risk and the safety of others at risk. It was absolutely explosive; she would go from calm to total out of control within a heartbeat. On going death threats to the grandmother, the older brother and indeed the family cat. The family, were close to total breakdown.

The medication was started very cautiously with only ¼ of a tablet then moving slowly up to ½ a tablet daily. The calmness was almost immediate in the beginning; the jump up to ½ tablet swung her too much the other way, uncontrollable laughter and took her boundaries right out of her life. Back down to ¼ again but the aggression was still breaking through, something the psychotherapists saw and those who were on the receiving end of it first hand. She is now back on ½ a tablet and has been for sometime, but the aggression is just bubbling under the surface yet again and just one word which she considers to be wrong or she does not like, unleashes the anger, threats and aggression. And she does not care whom it is aimed at be it family, the cat or a stranger. The Mental Health team is planning very carefully her ongoing counseling and they are taking into account the safety for her, the family and themselves. They are putting in all the safe guards’ possible. Open and honest dialogue between all the adults is also one of the safe guards. She is now up to ½ a tablet in the morning and ½ at 3pm. She still does get verbal but is controlled quite easily. At the age of 10 she is agreeable to take her tablets, but the grandparents worry what happens when, say she is 12 much bigger and stronger and she refuses to take these tablets.

Out of the Mouths of Babes:

We have all females living in our home: Me, 3 granddaughters’ and even 2 female cats.

The middle granddaughter, 10 years old, just can not wait to have babies (horror of all horrors) and her eldest sister said the other day. "Nana you know how ***** wants to have babies, well I think the minute she gets a boyfriend you should get her "FIXED". I laughed so much; needless to say the female cats had just had their op. Extra work for the Vets perhaps.

She came to me:

As a bedraggled, thin, sick little 5 year old, she had rarely attended school, knew neither alphabet nor a nursery rhyme and was not able to count. Today she turned 14. She has a beautiful soul so kind, and caring, she excels in school including Australasian Exams. She has a love of reading, attends guides and church, has many friends, tall and graceful, but still fragile and touchwood has caused me no bother. I am blessed and so proud of her. Nana, Thelma.

The terrible Twos, twice over: (It is astounding as to how many grands are raising twins!)

My twin granddaughters have just turned two and a handful to say the least. One seems to set the other off and at times we have two little people lying on the floor kicking and screaming. Nanny feels like getting down with them and doing the same! (Now just picture that!) They may be twice the trouble BUT they are also twice the joy. Me, I am 62 but in my mind I reverse that, so I am really just 26 (I wish). Energy wise that is. The time I love the best is when they are bathed, smelling just gorgeous in their pink PJ’s, fluffy slippers and bright yellow dressing gowns. They both try and cuddle up on my knee for reading time. Pure and utter bliss is this.

My Hand Made GRANDmothers Day Card: (This is the "medicated" child )

My just 11 year old grand-daughter presented me with this:

Front Cover: Nan you are a star.

Inside: God’s Gift

My Nan is a special gift. That God gave to me
I would be lost and lonely without her, if God took her away
You see, I love her so very much
I couldn’t bear to live without her healing touch
Thank you God for such a loving Mother, for, I wouldn’t want to be a part of any other.

Care of Children Bill - Summary of Amendments

Existing law	Amendment
Welfare of the child is first and paramount consideration (s23(1))	Principle is modified to "best interests and welfare of the child" and shifted to front of Act as the overriding principle
The wishes of the child must be ascertained and taken into account having regard to age and maturity (s23(2))	Principle moved to front of Act "Views" of child must be ascertained and taken into account (this must be explained to the child) Court's power to appoint Counsel for the Child to be presumptive if case is likely to proceed to a hearing and to have a more prominent place in Act
Guardianship defined as custody, right of control and rights of parents (s3)	Guardianship is redefined to emphasise parental responsibilities rather than rights Definition provides some illustrative examples of the role of guardians (e.g. determining child's name, medical treatment, education and religion) Recognition that nature of parental decision-making role is not absolute, and changes as a child matures
Guardianship of a child ends at 20 years or if child marries earlier (s2&21(1))	Guardianship will end at 18 years (note conflict with New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990) Guardianship ends if a child aged 16-18 enters a de facto relationship, including same-sex relationships, and the parents have consented to that relationship
Both biological parents joint guardians except where the biological father is not married to the mother and was not living with the mother at the time of the birth	A biological father will be a guardian automatically if married to or living together with the mother at any time from conception until birth of the child or in some circumstances if details are included on the birth certificate with his and the mother's consent If not covered by the above the father may apply to a Family Court and he will be appointed as a guardian unless it is contrary to the best interests of the child
New partners of parents who have taken on day to day care responsibilities for a child can only be appointed as a guardian by a Family Court (s8)	Both parents will be permitted to jointly appoint a new partner (including de-facto and same-sex partners) as an additional guardian Appointments will be checked by a Family Court to ensure that there has not been previous proceedings under guardianship legislation, the Domestic Violence Act or the Children, Young Persons and Their Families Act The additional guardian will be required to declare any child abuse or neglect convictions (such a conviction would mean that the parties cannot use this process)
A mother may seek a paternity order in the Family Courts. A putative father may only seek a paternity declaration in the High Court. (s47-50 Family Proceedings Act 1980; s10 Status of Children Act 1969)	The Family Courts will be given a broader jurisdiction, along with the High Court, to make orders concerning paternity, including orders of non-paternity, on the application of the mother or putative father
Parents, step-parents and guardians can apply for custody orders as of right. Any other person can seek a custody order with leave of the Court. Only a parent or step-parent may apply for an access order as of right. Relatives of a child may apply in very limited circumstances (ss11,15&16)	Replace custody and access orders with 'parenting orders' that determine whom a child will live with and for what periods of time. Where the child is not to be in the "day-to-day care" of a person the parenting order may deal with what contact the person may have with the child Near relatives (ie. grandparents, aunts/uncles or siblings), members of family groups and any other person will be able to seek the Court's leave to apply for parenting orders (ie covering both custody and access issues) If a parent does not have day to day care responsibility the Court must consider whether and how an order can provide for contact between the parent and child
A party may appeal from a Family Court decision to the High Court (s31)	Any child affected by a court order (that can be appealed by the parties) will be permitted to appeal to the High Court
A Family Court may order a social worker, medical, psychiatric or psychological report on a child. (ss29&29A)	A Family Court Judge will also be able to order a specialist report into the cultural background of a child A party may request that a person speak at a hearing on the issue of cultural background concerning the child A Counsel for the Child may in some circumstances show the report to the child Family Court may restrict a self-represented person's access to a specialist report if risk to a child or other party's safety
Reports of proceedings may only be published with leave of the Court or in professional publications (s27A)	A person may publish a report of proceedings if the report does not include the name or any information that is likely to lead to the identification of (among others) the child, a witness or the parties to the proceedings Increased financial penalties for publication in breach of rules
Court may strike out an application under Court rules or its inherent powers to prevent abuse of its process	Increase powers to dismiss proceedings that are vexatious, frivolous or contrary to child's best interests Family Court may prohibit future applications where there has been a pattern of persistent vexatious applications
Only parties, witnesses and people with the Court's permission may attend guardianship hearings. (s27)	Any person who has attended earlier dispute resolution (e.g. counseling or mediation) may attend a subsequent hearing Court retains power to exclude persons
Non-custodial parents must pay any costs associated with supervised access (s16C)	Formal supervised contact ordered by a Court will be government funded up to a maximum number of sessions and if undertaken by approved providers
Sing: Always look on the bright side of life.	Ahumm ahum ahum ahum ahum (Just checking to see if you are actually reading this)

Trust News:

Letter from Grey Power President:

To All Associations,

At the AGM recently held in Auckland the following remit was passed

That Grey Power urgently lobby for the treatment of grandparents who are the primary caregivers to their grandchildren, because of violence and neglect, to receive equal treatment by way of legal aid, as well as the foster care payments for obtaining and continuing legally to give full care to their grandchildren

This remit was passed without dissent.

At the same AGM Diane Vivian gave a very poignant address that was really appreciated by the delegates – we will of course lobby as requested.

We do however suggest that all associations should become aware of the extent of this problem and the financial obligations that the grandparents face.

It then contains the Trust contacts and is signed by G.D Stairmand: President.

The Trust Office has since been contacted by a number of Grey Power zones for information.

New Support groups starting: Central Auckland & Lower Hutt, and potential for Taupo.

We have two new GRG support groups starting in the Central Auckland and Lower Hutt areas.

We welcome Janet Keat her contact details are: Janet Keat 53 Marlborough St Mt Eden: Ph 09 630 1625. This brings the total support groups in the wider Auckland area to 7.

Also welcome to Tuiloma Sikoti for Lower Hutt: House No 6. 276 Waddington Drive Naenae Ph 04 567 0698 Making our total number of support groups 36 and we are very hopeful for a new group in Taupo. We are on yet another growth spurt.

New Support Groups Needed:

We have had calls for GRG support groups to start in the following areas: Timaru: Dunedin: Westport: Kaikora: Wanaka: Alexandra: If you are keen to start a GRG support group in any of these areas could you please contact us at the Trust Head Office.

Trust Annual AGM:

Will be held at the GRG Trust Office, 22 Onetaunga Rd Birkenhead Auckland, on June 29^th 10.30am.

Media:

-	TV Breakfast show with Alison Mau 11 May.

Final filming: for "OpenDoor" Morningside Productions. We will notify you when this goes to air.

Radio Rhema: 17 May 04. Very long interview but it was wonderful, as we were able to get all issues facing our GRG’s across.

North & South June issue "Brainwave Trust" article features one of our GRG’s Nana Cath.

GRG Trust Structure:

As we have had a large number of members join of late we thought it a good idea to explain the structure of the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust. We at present we are averaging 12 new members each day.

-	Board of Trustees: Jill Worrell: Birgitt Rehbein: Debbie Gillies: Samina Corbett: Miriama Paraone-Davies: Kate Woodd: Diane Vivian.

-	National Convenor & Founder: Diane Vivian.

-	Cultural Advisor: Miriama Paraone-Davies.

-	Legal Advisor: Kate Woodd.

-	Research & Social Policy Advisor: Jill Worrell.

-	Web Site Creator: Elizabeth Douglas. Email: liz@webtastic.co.nz

-	Funding Administrator: Jenny Kirk.

-	Treasurer: Joachim Rehbein.

Regional Co-ordinators: Auckland Region - Samina Corbett: Waikato - Lynn Falconer: Taranaki - Sue Stannard: Wellington Region - Terry Ututaonga: Southland - Lorraine Colvin.

Support Group Co-ordinators: Of which there are 36 scattered over NZ. All can be contacted via our GRG Handbook, GRG brochures, by phoning Trust office, or our web site.

Each and every one of these people working on and for the Trust are voluntary and are not paid workers. We really appreciate you all.

The flood of new members is due to:

CYF Caregiver liaison workers receiving our handbook and letting their grand and kin carers know of it,
Media coverage this month.
Word of our research being undertaken.

Our Newsletter:

Some times we think, what can we write this month, but before we know it we have finished it. We write a lot from personal experience from myself and our situation and indeed from our membership, because if we are, or have heard from others going through this we know others will too, if not sooner, then maybe later. Lately due to being so busy and the growth spurt we are finding we have reached newsletter capacity early in the month. Often reading others struggles, joy and achievements it gives us hope and makes us realise we are not alone. And one may glean ideas or realise what may be to come. Our GRG role has many layers and if we can make you aware and things easier then we have done our job. Knowledge is a great thing, and often lightens our load. I have learnt so much in my role as National Convenor and in the role of raising 2 grandchildren, and I thank you all for trusting me with your worries, achievements, sorrows and joy. Together we can do this!

Media Statement
Tuesday, 11 May 2004: Research in line with Alexander's book

A leading Christchurch researcher's findings that badly behaved seven-year-olds are often headed for a life of crime, drugs, teen parenthood and mental illness square with the premise and conclusions of the book launched by United Future Christchurch MP Marc Alexander this week.

"Professor David Fergusson's findings make riveting reading, and deserve a wide audience," Mr. Alexander, author of

Justice with Both Eyes Open said today.

Prof. Fergusson released his findings to the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists on Monday, pointing to early intervention as the only way to deal with social problems that have experts "wringing their hands".

"His findings are consistent with many similar schools of thought, and I completely agree," Mr. Alexander said. "At every point, and in every situation, sooner is better in terms of turning lives around.

"And this is particularly so in addressing crime and its causes, and getting to young offenders and potential young offenders before they go off the rails, and become a menace to society and themselves," he said.

Prof. Fergusson leads the Christchurch Heal and Development Study, which has tracked more than 1000 Christchurch children from birth to the age of 25.

And

A Canadian public servant has been appointed as the new head of Child Youth and Family Services. Paula Tyler, former special education teacher and disabilities services advocate, is currently head of Alberta's Children Service's Department, and will take up her job at CYF in August.

LISTEN TO THE BUDGET TOMMORROW !!

Convenor and the team. return to top