SUBJECT:                                           National Office. NZ. Report November 2004

Open Door; Documentary on GRG.

This is due to screen 12.30pm December 5^th Sunday on TV3. Make sure you watch folks.

Attention all GRG’s in the Wellington Region

The Wellington group has been successful with a funding application and we would like to hear from you if you have a project that we could consider sponsoring grandchildren over the summer holidays.

If there is an activity/holiday programme/camp/sporting tuition that you would like your grandchild/ren to attend over the summer holidays then please apply in writing to GRG Wellington, 3A Woodridge Drive, Newlands, outlining your proposal for consideration. Applications will close Friday 15 Dec 04.

GRG Trust Radio Interview: Media.

The Trust has given an interview with Radio New Zealand on retirement and how raising the grandchildren, effects our retirement. As one can imagine we had plenty to say on that front! This went to air on 10 November, with Leanne Wigg doing the interview.

GRG Trust also was featured on Radio Rhema in regard to Community Trusts and how successful they are. Richard Barter hosted this show.

Interview with “Aucklander” magazine.

Our GRG Trust Internal Research: Red Flag Warning:

Our researchers have announced an early frightening trend they are seeing as they wade through this huge amount of work. They are raising the red flag that they are finding too many GRG’s are not accessing the Unsupported Child Benefit (UCB) because they are receiving some sort of other benefit for themselves: be it a Sickness Benefit, Superannuation, Disabilities Benefit or any of the other Benefits available for them. What you need to understand is any Benefit you are getting for your needs is just that, for your needs. The grandchildren’s needs are totally different and do not impact upon what you are already getting. The Unsupported Child Benefit is not asset tested, this UCB is not for you, it is for the needs of the children that you raise. It is also unwise to have the grandchildren you are raising placed on a “Family Support Benefit”. This is much less than you would be getting for the children if they were getting the UCB.

Child Youth & Family Services (CYF) Board Payments:

If your grandchildren or whanau children are under the care and protection of CYF and you are caring for them and have a Social Worker, you should be receiving Board payments, a Clothing Allowance, pocket money and birthday gifts for these children. If you are getting this Board payment you are NOT entitled to get anything else from Work & Income nor IRD.

If you are getting extra, when this is discovered you will be asked to pay any monies you have received from WINZ/IRD back. If this causes you financial difficulties you can ask that this is paid back in small amounts.

Ministry of Social Development: UCB payments.

The GRG Trust was invited amongst others to attend a consultation in Wellington on November 16^th. The discussions were centred on the UCB, Foster Care payments and CYF payments. Diane (GRG Trust) travelled down with Byron Perkins from Foster Care Federation. The consensuses of top priorities from attendee’s were:

×          Parity across the board for all caregivers:

×          Education of what benefits were available to caregivers in clear and layman’s terms:

×          Consistency and transparency.

It was also noted that the “Care Supplement Benefit” was only being paid to just over 1000 people, yet we know far more children have passed from CYF guardianship into your care and guardianship, so why is this extra benefit not being accessed?

See below:

Care Supplements Benefit from WINZ

One of our members has notified us that they received a letter on the increases for this Benefit. For their two grandchildren it went up from $17.24 each per week to $23.87 each. WINZ also acknowledged that they owed $676.01 in arrears. How very refreshing!

Our GRG Web Site: www.raisinggrandchildren.org.nz

We apologise for this being down for two weeks or so. Our wonderful web lady, Liz Douglas, has done a revamp on this and you will find it looking different, but also a lot quicker than before. Many thanks Liz.

Some Positive Changes for Our Grandson

Finally, after 4yrs with us, our grandson is showing some signs of maturity. Recently he was able to bike around to his other Grandparents' home (nearby) to attend a bar-b-que, unsupervised by us. This is a first as before now not only would he have not had enough road sense to bike there, but also we couldn't trust his behaviour when he was out of our sight. He still tends to be greedy about food when eating away from home but this is a legacy from the lack of food available when he was at home with Mum, and he has improved. 

Also, during the last school holidays he went to camp - this time doing most of the packing himself and checking to see that everything was named and naming anything that was not. He also, for the first time, brought absolutely everything home again.

Recently I have been sick, with a varicose ulcer, and have needed help in dressing the area every day. My grandson is the only one who was able to get the bandage firm enough to stay up but not so tight that it cut off circulation, he did this twice a day for several weeks. He also did many more household chores than normal as I was supposed to be resting with my leg elevated. For meal preparation I would sit on the kitchen stool with my leg elevated on the beanbag and he would do all the fetching and carrying for me.  He has learnt to make a few new meals from this too.

He went to a church games evening for the youth and we arranged for one of the youth leaders who lives near us to bring him home afterwards. I gave him some money in case he needed it. He asked that we just dropped him at the church door, not taking him in as we usually do. We did this and gave him a time we expected him home. A little after the curfew, he hadn't arrived and we were about to panic, when he phoned to say he was at the youth leader's home, they had picked up some KFC and were having supper and would be home very soon. When he got home he told us he had spent his money on desserts as a contribution to the shared supper to thank the leader and friends for the lift home. We were impressed at the maturity in letting us know where he was and the thoughtfulness in sharing.

This is not to say that all is rosy without any problems but it is an acknowledgement of the changes we are seeing and appreciating. He is 10yrs old. Grandma Edith.

Computer Monitors: FREE

If you are in the Auckland region and can pick up, we have 5 x 14 inch monitors that have been donated to the Trust. If you are keen please phone 09 480 6530 to arrange a pick-up time.

Haven’t we done well?

As the years quickly slip by we are very pleased at the knowledge we have passed around on the plight of GRG’s. Colleges, policy makers, universities and many other related Agencies and organisations are aware and indeed seek out an understanding of grandparents who raise their grandchildren. It would be fair to say that a number thought we would just slowly slip away, some even thought ignoring us would make us disappear, but we are made of sterner stuff, in spite of all we grew. We were indeed very lucky that like-minded people gathered around us, they understood, listened and opened their hearts to us.

In February 2005 we will be a big six years old. Why have we been successful? Well we can only put it down to the fact that we walk the walk and talk the talk, as we also raise our mokopuna. We really do understand what we all face in our unique role, with all its challenges and rewards. We also understand what we all have sacrificed for the love and compassion for a child in need. We are asked to speak to the new social workers that are due to be out in the field very soon, including medical, legal and all manner of students that contact us for an understanding - something we are very happy to pass along. With communication comes understanding and changes can be achieved.

This will also be our last newsletter for the year of 2004. As the silly season fast approaches and our children break for the summer holidays, we wish you all a safe, happy and peaceful time. We give thanks to each and everyone of you and also to our Board of Trustee’s, all organisations that have supported us and helped us to make your lives easier.

We send special blessings to those kind organisations that have funded us for this year, without you our job would be so much harder.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren (Kids Life magazine article)

The Benefits of Exercise           By Margaret Cunningham.

Peace and quiet in a park full of children? Never! But here I was, sitting, soaking up a rare patch of sunshine, at our local playground watching my seven-year-old granddaughter clamber energetically over climbing frames with her friend from school. Taking a friend had been a good move. It meant I could be excused from ‘playing duties’. I would not have to hang up-side down off the bar, slide down the fireman’s pole or race round throwing myself from vertical defying platforms to avoid being tagged in a game of tiggy. So I settled down to find the quiet place within, amidst the screams of delight from the playground.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed an older woman with a child of about three-years-old. My eyes seem to gravitate towards older woman these days with small children. We have been raising our granddaughter full-time since she was a baby and I often seek out others who might be the same. The little girl was desperately trying to reach the monkey bar that was too high for her tiny arms.

“Nana, could you lift me up so I can hold onto the bars?” she asked.

“Honey, I can’t my arms aren’t strong enough to hold you there,” was Nanas reply.

I understood what she meant. I can recall staggering, legs and arms shaking, under the weight of a toddler/pre-schooler as I endeavoured to literally support her in her many escapades. Lack of physical strength and energy affect us all as we get older and for some grandparents this is exacerbated with the extra burden of raising their grandchildren. Of great importance to me as a “recycled parent” is the maintenance and nurturing of my health and physical fitness.

According to Census 2001 there are 4416 grandparents raising grandchildren, but as Diane Vivian of Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust (GRG) says, “We know this figure to be much greater due to cultural and tradition that sees Maori grandparents raising their eldest grandchild.”

So I know I am not alone. Nor am I alone in my reason for raising our grandchild. There have always been grandparents who have raised their grandchildren but for many of us this has happened because of severe emotional and psychological problems experienced by our own adult children, or our children’s partners, putting our grandchildren at risk. This means the parenting role is more difficult and complex than usual due to the emotional wounds many of these children suffer.

In addition to the complex and difficult parenting role, grandparents must deal with their own special needs. Age related health problems such as heart attack, stroke, menopause, dwindling eyesight and hearing loss loom menacingly in the foreground. “Aging grandparents have the usual issues that older people have but unlike others they put their needs second to the children they are raising. Rather than go to the doctor for themselves they would rather put healthy food on the table or send little Johnny on a school trip,” says Diane Vivian.

Yes, my bank balance may never be the same again but I’m in this for the long haul and being physically active ensures my health account balance remains topped up. “Disuse syndrome” or lack of exercise is a major factor involving the aging process. Some of the symptoms of Disuse Syndrome may be:

What we put down to as age related disorders might simply be a matter of lack of exercise. Thirty minutes of regular exercise 3-5 days a week will sort out the “age versus disuse” conundrum and the increase in energy, movement and mental well-being from habitual activity can only enhance the grandparent/child relationship.

Physical activity increases alertness and improves mental health. Stress and tiredness rank highly on the scale of health issues encountered by grandparents raising grandchildren. When our granddaughter first came to live with us I often lamented the fact that although I had run thirteen marathons over the years I could not recall being as tired at the finish of one of these races as I was when I started to care for our grandchild. My arms felt as though they were falling off, my back and hips took a trip to achesville, and mentally and emotionally the tumultuous events that led us to taking care of our grandchild threatened to overwhelm me.  What got me through was exercise, and as odd as it may sound, an hours walk or run was the best way to re-energise the body and spirit that I know.

The age-group of grandparents raising grandchildren varies from grand’s in their forties to grand’s in their eighties and nineties. Many are hindered by financial constraints, lack of transport and hip and mobility problems. What to do and where to go are important considerations. While jogging and walking may not be everybody’s cup of tea it is cheap, all that is needed is a sturdy pair of sports shoes. Pre-schoolers can be pushed in a pushchair, which coincidently also gives the upper body a workout. Find out what is on in your community. In our local community newsletter the over 50’s groups are well catered for with Chairobics, an exercise group that caters for people with mobility problems, walking groups, aqua aerobics and bowling groups. A good place to start would be to ring your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau to find out what’s on in your area.

You are never too old to reap the rewards of physical activity and it’s never too late to start.  Before starting any new physical programme get an okay from your doctor. Use the time with your G.P, to have a thorough check-up. I have frequent health check-ups now I am parenting again; hopefully I am going to be around to see my grandchild grow well into her adult years. It is important to be realistic about what you would like to physically achieve. Running a marathon would probably be a fairly unrealistic goal if you are new to exercise, but physical activity with a small component of aerobic activity, muscle strengthening and stretching exercises will add new vigour and energy to tired bodies. Play is a great way to be active and adds fun to fitness. Admittedly, it can be rather embarrassing swinging from a rope, face contorted into a grimace, or perching myself at the top of a tree in public places, but through play I have discovered muscles I never thought existed!

Plan your exercise. We can all find excuses not to exercise and grandparents raising grandchildren would have more legitimate excuses than most. Many of us are parenting three generations of family and time-out for ourselves to exercise looks virtually impossible. Don’t just wait for a gap to appear in your time-table. Make it easier to have some time for you by planning for it; schedule time for yourself. My husband and I often schedule our time-out zones where each of us is able to run away for a while. We have learnt that if we don’t plan it, then it more than likely won’t happen. During school holidays my friend and I care for each other’s children while we take time-out to exercise. What ever it is, include a fixed time-frame that allows you to invest in your health.

Improved physical fitness, mental well-being, better mobility, weight loss, more energy, healthier eating habits…..the benefits of regular activity are numerous. Whenever I look at my granddaughter and see all the joy and happiness she has given me I want to, in return, give her the best of me. Exercise has enabled me to do this. So did I find my peace and quiet at the playground? Not on your Nellie….I just couldn’t resist the fireman’s pole! J

Child Abuse Prevention Services: Free Phone 0800 228 737

Calls to this number are anonymous, accessible, but anti-abuse. Calls will be answered 24 hours a day. Someone will:

Available for: parents, step parents, grandparents, caregivers, children & teenagers.

Little Treasures Magazine

One of our grand’s has had an article accepted for this magazine it will either be in the November or December issue, called Grandma/Mum. Keep a look out for it.

Australian News on GRG’s:

Media Release

Howard Government delivers more help for Grandparent carers
31/10/2004

The Minister for Family and Community Services, Senator Kay Patterson, today delivered on the first of the promises made by the Coalition during the 2004 election campaign, announcing that from 1 November the work, training and study test for access to Child Care Benefit would be waived for grandparents who are the primary carers of their grandchildren.

"The work, training, study tests applied to Child Care Benefit will be waived for eligible grandparent carers, effective from Monday. This will allow them to receive up to $140.50 for up to 50 hours of child care for each child, each week," Senator Patterson said.

"Previously only 20 hours of CCB ($56.20) would be paid to carers who are not working, training or studying.

"These changes will support the grandparents who have taken on the parenting role when parents are no longer able to care for their children and reflects the Australian Government's ongoing support for the important role they play in our society.

"Up to 16,000 grandparents who have the primary responsibility for raising and caring for a grandchild may now be entitled to additional support through Child Care Benefit (CCB), providing more help with the costs of approved child care.

"In addition to this increased access to CCB, from 1 January 2005, subject to passage of legislation, an eligible grandparent carer in receipt of an income support payment will be able to receive a special rate of CCB, which will cover the full cost of approved child care for up to 50 hours for each child, each week.

"This initiative builds on the Australian Government's response to the COTA National Seniors report, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, which called on more recognition and support for the important job these remarkable grandparents do.

"This improved access by grandparents to Australian Government support recognises the importance of their role as primary carers for two generations, it also shows the Government's commitment to the future of these children," Senator Patterson said.

10 Ways to Grandparent your Grandchildren: Courtesy of Grandsplace USA

1. Give the child an “I CAN” Attitude. Teach her to believe that nothing is impossible. Encourage the child to solve her own problems as often as possible. Encourage her to express her own ideas. Make the phrase “I CAN'T” off limits. It may be faster and easier for you to do it for her but that teaches her nothing but dependence on others.

2. Teach the child to question everything. Lead the child to think, "Is there a better way?” and "Can I think of any way to improve on this?" Do not let the child settle for the inferior. Teach her to advocate for a better world.

3. Teach the child initiative. Initiative is simply the doing of something without being told. If there is a job to be done, the child does it. It also implies self-confidence and self-reliance. The child that grows up only doing what she is told does nothing when there is no one there to tell her what to do.

4. Whenever possible give the child a choice between two or three courses of action. The parent should say, "You may have either this one or that one.”, “Shall we go to the park or the mall?", "You may wear Green one or the blue one.”, “Should we make soup for lunch or sandwiches?" We can find some choices are acceptable to both the child and our parenting style. Letting the child make choices prepares her for the day she must make decisions on her own. Once the choice is made, be sure the child is held accountable to her decision. Living with her decision, right or wrong, teaches her to make decisions carefully.

5. A child should be taught to do one thing and do it well. Help the child discover the one thing she is good at. Teach her to strive for perfection in that one task. By directing her activities toward that one goal she learns that she is competent. Setting a goal and achieving it will teach her she is competent. Goals are so important!

6. Give her some responsibilities of her own. As soon as possible throw her upon her own resources by giving her responsibilities. Give her a task that impacts her life to perform. Make her perform it to its completion. Do not correct it or finish it for her. She must realize that it is her task and that she must do it. She must know that if she does not do it, it will not be done! If she does not bring her dirty clothes to the laundry room she will soon find she has nothing to wear.

7. Teach the value of making her own money. When the child reaches the school age let her earn some money and spend it on her own. Perhaps she can work in the yard for an hour and make a dollar or two. Then take her down to the corner store to spend it alone. Wait outside while she shops. She will learn two things: She will learn to be careful about spending her money, for she had to work to get it. She will also learn to make decisions and to go somewhere on her own. She is learning that necessary fact of life that she must someday be on her own.

8. Do not fee sorry for the child. Yes she may have had hardships in her early life. But hardships can be turned around to make one stronger. Too much sympathy teaches her to whine and feel like everything is someone else’s fault. If she is going to be her own person, she must learn to face hardships, stand alone, and be willing to suffer and then overcome them.

9. The child should be taught to look out for the needs of others. She should not think only of her own desire, but the desire and needs of other people. Teach her that her words and actions impact everyone around her. Show her that a family only functions well if all members behave in a manner that benefits everyone. I truly hate it when asked to please pick up the toys after a play-date the child says, “But I didn’t make that mess.” My answer is, “Well you didn’t make dinner either but you ate it.”