Your Voices:

 

Love is:

Speaking to a fellow Gran on the phone I was alarmed to hear her groan in pain, several times. Fearing she was having a heat attack, I frantically enquired was she OK. “It’s Ok” she said. “Dear husband is just digging a corn out of my toe” Ummmmmmmm OK never expected that!                     

Asthma and Spacers:

Do you and or your grandchildren have asthma? Do you use a spacer chamber or just pop the inhaler into your mouth and puff? You get more medication deeper into the lungs if a spacer is used. They come in two sizes 1 large one for small children and 1 smaller one for adults. These are available free of charge from your local Doctor.

Wash well in warm soapy water, do not rinse, and let it dry on a paper towel. Then it needs to be ‘primed’ before use. 10 puffs of your medication into chamber will prime it ready for use.

Only puff one lot of medication into chamber at a time then breathe 6 in and out breaths. Repeat if necessary. Rinse mouth out with water after medication to prevent oral Thrush.

Emergency Treatment;

Use 2 puffs of your inhaler (one puff at a time) through your spacer and 6 breaths, wait a few minutes. You can repeat this 6 times. If no improvement call an Ambulance.                                No longer wheezing Grandma

 “The nice part about living in a small town is, if you don’t know what you are doing, someone else always does”.

 He’s Flown the nest:

Our grandson has spread his wings - he has left school, got himself a job and gone flatting.  So now he is being his own 'independent' man.  It is time therefore for me to now resign my membership of GRG .

Although my husband and I have not been very active within GRG we have found your support and newsletters to be very reassuring and comforting as we have raised him and for that a big thank you - GRG certainly fulfils a need for those hundreds who are raising a grandchild. So, thank you all and our very best wishes for the future.

 

           What we are hearing from our national GRG Hot-line:

 Threats to Parenting Orders after many many years are happening to more than a few. These are coming after 8 – 10 years of grand’s holding these orders. We are also hearing from Grand’s of ‘parent’ waiting after school and accosting the child, supplying photo’s of ‘other’ ½ brothers or sisters that the child may or may not even know about. It seems to me that every now and then a button gets pressed inside the ‘parent’ and it usually appears at certain times of the year, the child’s birthday, fathers day, mothers day and Christmas. For the rest of the year one hears nothing. In some cases the ‘parent’ had not even seen the child for many years. Our advice to those in these circumstances is to talk to your grandchild about not getting into anyone’s car or going with them even if they know them as Grandma would be very worried about them and they may not be a safe person to be with. Ask them to tell you what they could do if this happened again, give them some control over the situation and reinforce their safety plan. Alert the school about this sort of scenario.

 As for challenges to Parenting Orders one must wonder about attachment issues the child may have with grand, and how easily these challenges can fracture that secure attachment. Mostly these threats are just empty words, but they do cause much distress to the child and the grand. ‘Parent/s” have even been known to tell the grand’s they will keep doing this until they go bankrupt. The proof of the pudding is in the eating as they say, so wait until you actually get a legal letter before doing anything, a lot of these ‘parent/s’ have got Legal Aid in the past and things have changed over time in that area. You have to be able to present a positive outcome in your application to Legal Aid and also today there is the requirement to pay the Legal Aid back. Often they just do this to cause you stress! But if you are having repeated actual challenges in the Family Court which does not change the Status Quo then it is time to talk to your Lawyer about ‘Vexatious” Court applications.

 Tauranga GRG Support group:

Meetings are the 1st Monday of each month at Palmers Garden Centre, Bethlehem at 10.00am.Come and relax in a pleasant spot and catch up with other GRG’s

 MEDIA RELEASE: 9/9/9

The Healing Power of Grandparents

 

A 2009 study of Grandparents raising Grandchildren in New Zealand has shown a high level of long-term commitment to the children in spite of huge difficulties and little if any support.

Following a ground-breaking study of grandparent and other kin carers published in 2005, the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust commissioned a further study of long-term carers to examine how well the carers and grandchildren had fared over time. Thirty-three percent of the children had been with the grandparents for ten years or longer, 49% from 6 to 9 years and 18% between 4 and 5 years.

More than half the children were reported as having serious physical and psychological problems as a result of the abuse and neglect they had before coming into their grandparents care. However, eighty-six percent reported significant improvements over time.  “The research shows this is directly attributed to the stability of care and the resilience and commitment of the grandparents,” reports Jill Worrall, social work consultant and author of the report which will also presented at the inaugural Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust’s National Conference; ‘A Grandparent’s love, for our children, for our future’ at the Ellerslie Convention Centre on 28 and 29 October 2009 during Grandparents Week 2009.

“While the grandparents described the joy of seeing the children recover and thrive, they also described the struggles they experience. Deterioration in their own health as they advance in years, expensive legal wrangles to maintain custody and a need for family were expressed along with a need for better and affordable housing, assistance with education costs and clothing in many cases,” says Worrall.

The 2005 study revealed the precarious financial status of many of the grandparents. “Once again alarming statistics have emerged in this report; with total family income being less than $20,000 p.a. for 22% of respondents and less than $30,000 for 25% of respondents. Solo carers, who represented 38.6% of participants, were particularly financially compromised. Several described a struggle to feed themselves and their children adequately. One carer stated a wish “not to go to bed hungry,[for] clothes that fit, money to survive and not to have to worry about work and income and the situation of my daughter””, says Worrall.

In April this year the Unsupported Child Benefit was raised to the same base weekly payment afforded to unrelated foster carers. “This will assist, but grandparents raising grandchildren are not currently eligible for the ancillary payments for clothing, health/medical and education costs that are available to foster carers,” says Diane Vivian; the Trust’s founder and National Convenor. “Consequently many grandparents still face extreme hardship meeting the costs associated with caring for children who need ongoing specialist medical, therapeutic or educational help as a result of the abuse and trauma they suffered before their grandparents stepped in to care for them.” 

Compared to recent data released by Child Youth and family in regard to numbers of placements experienced by children in State Care, the children in the study sample have been afforded a high level of stability and rehabilitation. Recent Child Youth and Family figures also show that the incidence of kinship care varies across cultures with 53% of Maori children in need of care placed with whanau, 59% of Pacific Island children placed with fono compared to only 31% of Pakeha children placed with their extended families. The study evidenced that the children in whanau/family care do well, but their carers need on-going support to do this. [ENDS]

Grandparents struggling to care for children :

By KIM THOMAS - The Press: Christchurch 10/09/2009

Some grandparents are going to bed hungry or visiting food banks to feed abused and neglected grandchildren in their care, a new study shows.

Former Massey University social work lecturer and researcher Jill Worrall has studied how couples who have custody of their grandchildren are coping. Her research found almost 50 per cent of the 200 families surveyed were earning less than $29,000 a year and were struggling to pay their food and electricity bills.

Some told of giving up much of their food for their growing grandchildren, not going to the doctor because they could not afford it and being physically abused by their young charges.

The report recommends giving grandparents with permanent custody access to free counselling and medical care for their often deeply disturbed charges, which would put them on more of an equal footing with the entitlements of Child, Youth and Family foster parents.

Worrall, a trustee of the Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust NZ, which commissioned the research, also recommends that the Government pay for more school-related costs, respite care and specialist training for elderly people earning under $30,000 and looking after their grandchildren.

The research shows there has been some improvement in the plight of couples raising their grandchildren, with fewer in this group earning under $20,000 than when Worrall surveyed it in 2005.

In 2005, 41 per cent of grandparent caregivers surveyed were earning less than $20,000, but this dropped to 22 per cent in the new report.

Minister for Social Development Paula Bennett said research such as Worrall's provided valuable insight into how much care went into the raising of children by their extended family.

Bennett said to help such caregivers the Government had raised the unsupported-child benefit to bring it into line with those receiving the foster care allowance.

Children being cared for by family members would also be eligible for 500 places in respite camps, she said. ENDS

Are your Kin/Grandchildren Under the Care & Protection of CYF?

Is so, have you been supplied a ‘Caregivers handbook” from them? If not ask for one from your Social Worker. Otherwise if you have the internet, then go to this link. http://www.cyf.govt.nz/Caregiver.htm and click on the Caregiver Handbook on left hand side of screen. This contains some very valuable information for you.

 Kids In Church                       

One particular four-year-old prayed,
'And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.'

 A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied..
'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.                                  
The daughter bowed her head and said,
'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'

  Message from the Minister Paula Bennett

Since my last message to you back in May, there’s been significant progress toward developing programmes which target New Zealand’s most serious young offenders.

We’ve recently announced greater detail about a broadened approach to the Fresh Start for Young Offenders package of initiatives. We all know that early intervention is the best approach when dealing with youth offending. As well as continuing to target serious and persistent young offenders, Fresh Start will also target children and young people at the lower end of offending, or at risk of getting into trouble.

The new initiatives include structured activity programmes, Court-Supervised Camp Programmes aimed at diverting young people away from more serious offending, and a Fresh Start Innovation Fund that aims to provide a resource for communities to deliver their own promising solutions to local offending problems.

Along with the broadened approach to Fresh Start for Young Offenders, Prime Minister John Key also detailed a new range of holiday options for young people, called the ‘Break-Away’ package. These initiatives give young people more opportunities to stay on track, through structured holiday programmes, mentoring, and role modelling.

30,000 young people will be able to access additional places in school-holiday programmes across the country, giving kids some structure to their holidays, and motivation so they don’t go off the rails and get into trouble.

I’m particularly excited about the Prime Minister’s Programme, which will reward and foster achievement for around 100 disadvantaged kids through week-long holiday programmes involving structured cultural and sporting activities. Well known and respected New Zealanders from a variety of fields will offer leadership and mentoring. The aim is to put these youngsters in touch with inspiring and motivational leaders, and show them another view of the world.

Residential respite camps will also be offered to 500 children and young people who are cared for by foster parents, extended whānau and grandparents, who may need a break over the holiday period.

This newsletter outlines progress and development of the Fresh Start initiatives outlined in the May update, as well as more details about the newly announced youth justice initiatives.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for your continued support and enthusiasm for the Fresh Start approach, and the part that many of you have played in the development of the programmes.

Hon. Paula Bennett Minister for Social Development and Employment

What Method of Discipline Really Works? by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser

  Question:

  I have five-year-old twin boys. They are always hitting each other and their younger brother. We have tried to sit down and talk to them about not hitting and using their words instead when they get mad at each other. We have used time outs and we have even tried spanking them. Is there a method of discipline that really works?

Answer:

With three children, five and under, it can be exasperating for parents -- and exhausting for kids -- to have deal with all of the conflicts that typically arise in a day. Your children are still in the stage where it is far easier for them to see their own perspective than it is to see that of another person. While your boys are getting closer to the age when they can be expected to use words more than their fists, they have not arrived there yet.

You have mentioned several forms of discipline you have tried. We will look at each one and then offer suggestions for helping your children as they grow into socially capable people

Time-outs. Giving children a short time-out can give them the chance to reflect on their behaviour, and also a clear message that a certain behaviour won't be allowed. This can be an effective method of teaching. Time-outs can also give an angry, frustrated parent a chance to calm down and respond more rationally. It is suggested that a child be given a time out equal in minutes to her age (a four-minute time out for a four-year-old child). It is not recommended to use time-outs with children under the age of three.

The problem with time-outs is that they take a child away from a valuable learning experience. A child who hits another child can begin to learn empathy from watching the other's child's response to being hurt, and if he stays around, he may also be able to participate in helping the other child feel better.

Talking with children. Talking with children offers rich opportunities for learning alternatives to hitting. It is often necessary to give children some specific suggestions about what they can say when they have strong feelings. Sometimes the suggestion, "Use your words," doesn't give children enough of an idea of what they could say. Here are some suggestions for how to begin:

 Listen to children's feelings. Many times children who are hurting each other are feeling hurt themselves. If you can acknowledge their hurt, they are often more able to be gentle with their siblings. "It looks like you were really frustrated that Jeffy took your truck. I saw that you were busy playing with it."

Give children information about what happens when they hit people. Children don't immediately know that hitting hurts other people. If you show your child (without scolding) the other child's hurt, he can begin to learn something about empathy. "I want you to look at Jeffy. He's crying because it hurts when he gets hit." (If you do this in a scolding or punitive way, your child will focus on your anger, rather than on the feelings of the other child.)

Offer safe, alternative ways to express those feelings and communicate their ideas. "You can tell Jeffy that you still want your truck. You can tell him, 'I don't like it when you take my truck.'"

 Help children come up with alternative solutions. What children usually want when they take toys from each other is a chance to play together. If you can offer them suggestions for other ways to play together, they may be able to let their conflict go. "It looks like Jeffy wants to play trucks with you. Can you find him a truck he could use?" Or, "Jeffy looks really interested in what you are doing with your truck. Could he help you make a road for the truck?"

Set limits and follow through. It is important that children know that hitting is unacceptable. If your child is unable to stop himself from hitting his brothers after you have offered alternative ways for him to express his feelings and communicate his ideas, you can offer him a final choice. "Can you be safe with Jeffy or shall I help you move to the other room to play away from Jeffy until you can be safe with him?"

Remember that it takes time, repetition and modelling. Children don't learn communication and problem-solving skills quickly. It takes time and repetition in many different circumstances before they really get it. If you stay focused on teaching your children these skills and gently model the ways you want them to interact, slowly they will begin to acquire the skills.

Read more: http://parenting.ivillage.com/tp/tpbehavior/0,,8brs,00.html#ixzz0NoSPLCOj

TODAY'S TOP TEEN TIP!
EXTRA HELP

 I’d like to throw in a couple of points for raising teenage grandchildren today...keep in mind that these can also really help any relatives, or caregivers too!

QUICK TIPS FOR GRANDPARENTS RAISING TEEN GRANDCHILDREN

1. Play it as simple as you can – no fancy parenting shenanigans from books needed. “I love you” is all it takes to confuse and make a screaming, yelling, tantrum teen think about the impact of their actions/tone of voice on you.

2. Get them involved in your world. My grandma taught me how to apply eyeliner in one stroke – a simple trick she knew, but I swear it still amazes my girl friends even to this day! Among other things, I really loved it when she taught me how to knit, paint, and especially how she can probably feed an entire army from leftovers in the fridge. That was super cool!

3. Share your stories. Hearing ‘back in the day’ stuff just does something really cool – it makes us feel a bit more grateful about today’s world, and a bit more sympathetic and open to the world our grandparents experienced. I LOVE it when my grandparents tell us about the war, and their parents. That is SO AWESOME!

4. Don’t feel discouraged – feel encouraged! You have a lot to teach us, and we may sometimes forget it...sometimes because we don’t have much time to hear you out. Share as much as you can – whenever there’s a dinner, a second of silence, anything – we need to keep learning from you, even if we don’t admit it – the only way we can go forward in the future is if we’re educated enough about the past to repeat the good things, and avoid the mistakes. We appreciate and want to learn from you, even if you don’t know what Bebo is : )

HELP YOUR TEEN GRANDCHILD GET THE JOB THEY WANT!

This instruction step-by-step guide and templates I have personally trialed and tested over the past 6 years with my teen friends, now finally in e-book format has been going like wild fire!! So I thought I’d keep it in the Top Tips for another week – really worth having a look at and getting for a teen you know, especially in these times when it’s like survival of the fittest and most prepared out there when trying to get a job!

If you’ve missed out the last few weeks, this is only available from here this week...
 http://www.trustyourfuture.com/cvandcoverletter4teens.html
Happy job hunting for your teen!
Happy Grandparenting! :) Eva-Maria
Eva-Maria is a 19 year old life coach for youth, a breath of fresh air, she certainly is.

3 weeks until GRG Conference: Have you registered? If not you are going to miss something really wonderful! Post your registration now. To download the registration form go to main page of this web site and click on conference button on main menu. www.grg.org.nz If you are a GRG member register with the Grandparent Delegate rate.  This allows you 2 day attendance with morning, afternoon teas and lunch plus 14 fabulous speakers on relevant subjects.  Only $123.75.  registration’s close October 20th. Please note: if you need accommodation you need to organise this, we can not do that for you.

Got Diabetes? Get it checked for free.

Get it Checked—What is it?

The Get Checked programme is funded by the Ministry of Health and ensures that every New Zealander with diabetes can have a free annual check up with their GP or GP practice nurse.

The objectives of the programme are to:

• systematically screen for the risk factors and complications of diabetes to promote early detection and intervention

• agree on an updated treatment plan for each person with diabetes

• update the information in the diabetes register used as a basis for clinical audit and planning improvements to diabetes services in the area prescribe treatment and refer for specialist or other care if appropriate.

For further info www.moh.govt.nz/moh.nsf/ indexmh/diabetes-getchecked

 Healthline

0800 611 116 or moh.govt.nz/healthline

Healthline a free, 24 hour a day, telephone health advice service, includes the Well Child advice service

If you've got flu symptoms, stay at home until essentially well, that is not sneezing and coughing as this is how the virus spreads. This is usually around three to four days after symptoms start, but may be up to a week.

Stop the spread of flu germs by:

• Covering coughs and sneezes

• Regularly washing your hands & drying them thoroughly.

• Avoiding contact with sick people

• reducing time spent in crowded settings.

If your condition worsens, seek medical advice by PHONING Healthline 0800 611 116 or your healthcare provider.

Get medical advice if you have a serious condition including respiratory disease, heart disease, liver disease, blood disorders and neurological conditions or have immunosuppression (including immunosuppression caused by medications or by HIV).

www.moh.govt.nz/influenza-a-h1n1

 101 Uses for Lemons....
As I looked out into my garden for inspiration I could not help but see my heavily laden lemon tree and I thought "what am I going to do with all those lemons?"  So, although there are easily 101 uses for lemons, I have listed some that I found most useful and interesting.

• Lemonade -here's a simple recipe: 6C water, 2C sugar, 2 1/2C lemon juice, sliced lemon and mint sprigs to garnish. Place water and sugar in saucepan. Stir over moderate heat until sugar is dissolved and mixture is boiling. Boil briskly, without stirring, 5 mins. Cool. Stir in lemon juice. Chill mixture thoroughly. Serve over ice with lemon slices and mint. Once you have made your lemonade you can freeze it for use later, make lemonade flavoured ice cubes or ice-blocks - the kids love them!
• Hot Toddy - Lemons are packed with vitamin C so they are just perfect when you are feeling a little under the weather.  Here's an easy recipe (with or without the whiskey!): 1 teaspoon honey, 1/4 cup boiling water, 45ml (1½ nips) whiskey, 3 whole cloves, 1 cinnamon stick, 1 slice lemon, 1 pinch ground nutmeg. Pour the honey, boiling water and whiskey into a mug. Spice it with the cloves and cinnamon, and put in the slice of lemon. Let the mixture stand for 5 minutes so the flavors can mingle, then sprinkle with a pinch of nutmeg before serving.
• Lemons have so many culinary uses - try it as a 100% natural and refreshing salad dressing, marinate meat to tenderise, marinate fish in lemon to neutralise the odor.  Make home-made marmalade or add lemon zest (grated rind of the lemon) to baking, desserts, rice and cous cous.
• Use lemon juice on avocados, bananas and apples to stop them from going brown. The lemon juice acts as a natural preservative and will prevent oxidation for a short period of time.
• A lemon a day keeps the doctor away!  It's true!  Having a glass of water (hot or cold) with lemon each day will provide more benefits than you could ever imagine. 
• It's good for the stomach as it can help relieve digestion problems when mixed with hot water such as nausea, heartburn, bloating and belching. Lemon juice can help with constipation and can even relieve hiccups.
• Think of Lemon as part of your Skin Care regime. As a natural antiseptic, it can help skin problems, enhance beauty by rejuvenating skin from within and giving a glow to your face. Daily consumption of lemon water can make a huge difference in the appearance of your skin. It acts as an anti-aging remedy and is though to remove wrinkles and blackheads. Lemon water when applied to burns can even fade the scars.
• Use lemon to fight toothache.  That's right - use lemon juice as a natural mouth rinse to help reduce pain and bleeding.  It also serves as a deodoriser so can help with bad breath. 
• Use as a throat gargle as it can help with fighting problems related to throat infections, sore throat and tonsillitis due to it's antibacterial properties. For sore throat, dilute one-half lemon juice with one-half water and gargle frequently.
• It is also thought that lemons can help lower cholesterol levels, has anti-cancer effects, could help dissolve gallstones, can relieve respiratory conditions & arthritis.
• Lemons also serve as a great eco-friendly cleaner for around the home.  Lemons can be used as a sanitary kitchen deodoriser, will remove grease, bleach stains, and disinfect.  When mixed with baking soda, lemon can even remove stains from plastic food storage containers.
• Have a little fun with the kids and make a lemon battery. This is a popular science experiment in schools that involves attaching electrodes to a lemon and using it as a battery to power a light. The electricity generated in this way can also power a small motor.
• Use in aromatherapy - it is suggested that lemon oil aroma may enhance mood and has a calming effect, so add some to your burner and if nothing else it will give a refreshing 'spring' smell to your home.
• Lemon juice can even be used lighten hair color and add shine - so for a bit of natural DIY hair care - give it a go!
• Copyright (C) 2008 Earth Cafe Ltd T/A The Library Cafe & Function Venue: 55 Princes Street, Onehunga Auckland

TIP:
The average lemon contains approximately three tablespoons of juice. Allowing lemons to come to room temperature before squeezing makes the juice easier to extract.

Nov – Dec: Please register Agency as Grandparents Raising Grandchildren Trust

Porirua Caregiver Induction Wed 4, 11 & 18 November (9:00am – 3:00pm)

Glenfield NVCI Fri 6 Nov (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 7 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Hastings Safe Caring Wed 11 Nov & Thurs 12 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Hamilton Managing Behaviour Fri 13 Nov (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 14 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Manurewa Caring Induction Fri 13 Nov (5.00pm – 9.00pm) & Sat 14 Nov (9.00am – 4.00pm)

Invercargill Understanding Maltreatment Fri 13 Nov (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 14 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

New Plymouth Legal Issues Fri 13 Nov (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 14 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Tauranga NVCI Fri 20 Nov (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 21 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Paeroa Caregiver Induction Fri 20 Nov (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 21 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Blenheim Caregiver Induction Fri 20 Nov (6:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 21 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Christchurch NVCI Fri 20 Nov (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 21 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Palmerston North Managing Behaviour Fri 20 Nov (5.00pm – 9.00pm) & Sat 21 Nov (9.00am – 4.00pm)

Nelson Caregiver Induction Fri 27 Nov (6:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 28 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Dunedin Safe Caring Fri 27 Nov (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 28 Nov (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Glenfield Caregiver Induction Fri 4 Dec (5:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 5 Dec (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Hamilton Family Dynamics Fri 4 Dec (6:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 5 Dec (9:00am – 4:00pm)

Wellington NVCI Fri 4 Dec (6:00pm – 9:00pm) & Sat 5 Dec (9:00am – 4:00pm)

To register:

Caregiver Training Free phone 0800 CARE ØK

Child, Youth and Family (0800 227 305) or (04) 918 9436 for more information.

Posted: Thu 17 Sep 2009

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