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April 2010 newsletterYour Voices: Things that make you go Umm: Having been married for 43 years there has always been one thing that has made me go Umm.This strange thing continues through the generations and is now happening for the grandchildren we raise. SOCKS, missing socks to be clear, the two of them go into the washing machine but only one comes out. This event does not discriminate at all, be it Pop’s, grandchildren’s or indeed my socks. Where do they go? Does the washing machine disintegrate them and wash just one of them down the sink? Is there a secret trap door inside the machine that just collects one sock from each pair? Or indeed have we been invaded by some worm like alien creature that lives in our machines and has a liking for just one sock? Well what ever is happening I have had enough! Pop’s socks now are all the same colour and brand as so are the grandchildren’s and mine. And they still go missing! But now we do not have to throw the odd one away. Nan D* If you have a thing that makes you go Umm we would love to hear from you.
Wisdom flies out the door: I have had a dickey tooth for the past 5 years, often getting an abscess under it, I am a coward when it comes to dentists but it happened yet again, and enough was enough, it had to be removed. Off I bravely went and yes it required removal. Many injections later he was prepared to start, as he began removing it pain hit. Oops, there was another couple of nerves that had been missed, more injections and finally job done. He asked did I want to take it home, I declined saying, “tooth fairies do not come to old ladies.” Home I went with my list of instructions, and to cut a long story short, I slept on a chair that night, armed with many pain tablets, and a very sleepless night was had. In the morning grand-daughter came down and said, “Nan you look like you are storing food” Sure enough upon checking the mirror I have a golf ball sized swelling in my lower jaw, radiating down to neck and up to my ear. So off to dentist again I go, this tooth was my last wisdom tooth, and it has been with me for 45 years, as said wisdom flew out the door. But it has left a painful reminder. Gran S
Peace perfect peace: The children and I are now living out in a beautiful tranquil and very peaceful valley. Moving here has saved my sanity with all the stress and battles that we have endured, with more still to come whilst trying to keep my grandson in school full time. It sure is a journey that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It’s very hard, to stay happy and positive, when you have one battle after another to get through year after year. It steals the sunshine from our life. Thank you Di, for being there on the end of the phone: on those dark days, with your support and knowledge and so ready to help. We three are looking forward to onwards and upwards. Nanny A Tribute to George: Our last day: Nine days have gone by since my beloved died. Days filled with disbelief and overwhelming grief. Our day started out as normal as can be. Mokopuna off to school to catch their bus. Not a thought entered my mind taking care of you was just my daily grind. Until you came to me and said, “Mum, wash my feet”. I turned to you and said, “won’t be long honey”, just sorting out bills and money. I let you sit and wait for me, finally I said, “come on then, I’ll do it now”. Filled the tub with water and some baking soda and said to you,“ just whirl your feet around.” Still I did not realise this was you saying goodbye. I turned and said, “have you finished”, then you placed your feet on my lap, drying them and without a thought. Reached for the moisturising cream and massaged your feet so tenderly, until you got hoha with me. The thought came then when Mary washed Jesus feet with her tears and anointed them with oil. To hold that thought I did not, I said to you, “Let’s go to the hospital” but you said no. All day long I had been at you until finally you relented. Arriving at the hospital was like the many times before, the doctors and nurses rallied around to make you comfortable. Our family dilly dallied around thinking like always you will be fine. You fought so long and hard to remain, but my beloved you were always in pain. All you said was take me home then Georgie Boy by your side you closed your eyes for evermore This is not farewell my dearest beloved Hori George just a moment in time. For those who have loved as you and I, together again forever woven into the universal fabric of life. Moe mai taku Hoa Rangatira. Na to hoa wahine TeRangipikitia. They say time is the greatest healer with an added mixture of whanau, friends and mokopuna and plenty off T.L.C. Noho ora mai koutou i raro i te manaakitanga o to tatou kai whakaora a Ihu Karaiti mo ake tonu atu. Juliet TeRangipikitia Rameka.
We also send our condolences to Tom and grandchildren on the passing of his wife and a marvellous grandma.
From KidzaCool Camp National Office: That was good news regarding the Families Commission report recognising the work you do and we will certainly lend our voice to that – I have been so impressed with the children on our KidzaCool camps, they are great kids and a credit to the grandparents commitment and love in raising them.
By Tanya Kirby I am 25 years old and I am proud to say my Great-Grandparents raised me. I look back now at all the things they had to sacrifice in their life to give me what I needed and wanted. They both passed away right around the time that I graduated from high school, and it took a long time for me to look back and really appreciate all that they had done for me, but trust me one day these children will look back and appreciate everything you have done for them. I think being raised by an “older" population really taught me some valuable lessons. A lot of young people you see today have absolutely no respect for themselves or anyone else, I feel the few of us who are fortunate enough to have been raised by grandparents or great-grandparents have a whole different perspective on life. It also made me realize that when I decide to have children I want to be able to raise my own and not have to be depending on my mother or father to do it for me. I think it is wonderful that all of you have taken on the responsibility of raising your grandchildren. I think being raised by your grandparents teaches a lot of respect. To this day I look at my great-grandparents siblings as my aunts and uncles and I stay in contact with them very often and they are a very active part of my life. I think it is a blessing to be raised by grandparents; you have family that you are close to, that you would have never even know if it weren't for being raised by grandparents. I wish all you grandparents and great-grandparents the best on raising your grandchildren; I hope they grow up to be wonderful, respectful, and successful adults, and that one day they will realise how great it is to be raised by grandparents and great-parents. The grandchildren we raise can have their input into this newsletter. We would love to hear from them. By an 18 year old Anon: A SHOT to kill the pain, A PILL to drain the shame, A PURGE to stop the gain, A CUT to break the vein A SMOKE to ease the crave, A DRINK to win the game. An addiction is just an addiction because it always hurts the SAME. Where do we live? We thought you would like to know where from our data base do most Grand’s raising live. Auckland heads the bunch by a huge amount, followed by Christchurch, Hawkes Bay, Wellington, Nelson then Hamilton. Christchurch and North Canterbury. All is well down here. The group is still meeting every 1st Tuesday of the month at "Farlaw" 1st floor, The Gables, 96 High Street, Rangiora. (Site Phone No. 313.7060) Children welcome, and any questions, phone Jan on (03) 313 6487 or 027 313 6676. Our numbers fluctuate from 6 to anything up to 20..... But there is always room for anyone to join us for a coffee, chat, and support one another. We have guest speakers when we can or people ask... coming up soon we have a local service group rep., who is going to answer questions about grants we can apply for, i.e.: individual ones for things like Outward Bound etc. We also have the local MPs coming in with a question and answer forum later this year. Another speaker we are waiting on confirmation from is a MED Social Worker, also one of the local Community Support Workers. Had all sorts of happenings down here..... Our little ones all appear to be growing faster than our budgets allow for, and we are all getting ready for the Winter Uniform onslaught of costs. Some of the WINZ offices are giving out Winter Uniform loans through the UCB (recoverable), but others are not! Why the difference, who knows? Levin has a new GRG Co-ordinator: We send a big welcome to Ann Waddell, who has kindly offered to help grand’s in her area. He phone number is 06 3627269 email ann.hen@xtra.co.nz NZ Womans Weekly 19 April issue: Wendyl Nissen writes with advice in her parenting column for Grandparents raising their grandchildren.
Unsupported child allowance: If you are taking the child and going on holiday overseas you must notify Work & Income. Depending on the length of time away they may or may not suspend your UCB. If the child goes to board at a boarding school you must also notify them. If the child is no longer in your care notify them immediately. In some cases if a child goes back to parents on a trial basis, still notify them, they may give you a period of time to see how it goes before stopping the UCB if it is permanent. You do not want to find yourself in a position where you have to pay back money to W & I. If a child begins work you must let W & I know. If the child is under 18 and moves into a tertiary learning situation they may continue with the UCB until they turn 18. Make sure you keep a note of date, time and person you spoke to and keep it in a safe place. Also there appears to be confusion about the end of year form you must fill in for UCB. The financial piece at the back is not about your personal finances it is about the child and any ‘other’ money they get.
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Free KidzaCool Camps: Programme Dates and Locations for 2010 Camps Families need to apply direct to camps for application forms: numbers are listed below:
RECIPE FOR PRESERVING CHILDREN 1 Large Paddock 1/2 dozen children 2-3 small dogs a pinch of brook Some pebbles Mix children and dogs well together. Put them in the paddock, stirring constantly. Pour over the brook and pebbles. Spread over all, a deep blue sky. Decorate with sunshine and when ready, remove to a bathtub. Increased foster care allowance and Unsupported Child benefit: The foster care allowance, or board rates, will increase by 1.96% from 1 April 2010 to reflect the change in the consumer price index. There is also an increase in the pocket money, clothing, birthday and Christmas allowances that are paid in addition to board rates for Foster Carers. Also from 1 April, the Orphan's Benefit and Unsupported Child's Benefit weekly rates will go up by the same amount . Foster care Allowance and clothing rates as at 1 April 2010 (new rates)
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY... Women are angels And when someone breaks our wings..... We simply continue to fly.... on a broomstick... We're flexible like that. Ministry of Health Spectacles Subsidy for Children Fifteen Years and Younger: This subsidy is for the provision of Disability Support Services assistance for children with vision problems in low-income families. The five areas that can be accessed under the subsidy are: The subsidy amount is $281.25 (including GST). A further $50.00 (including GST) is available for children that require an adult size frame. The Spectacles Subsidy is paid directly to the provider of the examination or glasses. The provider then deducts the subsidy amount from their client’s account. The spectacles can be provided by optometrists and dispensing opticians. The completed form is to be submitted to Enable New Zealand with an invoice attached. Applications may be submitted by post, or email. When going to your local optometrist ask them if they are enrolled with Enable NZ, most are and they will have the application forms for you there. Enable New Zealand PO Box 4547 Palmerston North: Ph 0800 17 19 81 When Raising Grandchildren Becomes a Grandmother's Identity After my grandchildren went back to their mother after seven years, the depression and loss were almost more than I could bear. I lost 20 lbs, that I did not need to lose, and I found pleasure in nothing, absolutely nothing. I did not plant the raspberry bushes I had bought. They dried up in the purchase containers. I did not even pick the vegetables that I had planted. Everything just withered away. I went away for a couple of months hoping to recover. I didn't. I had lost my purpose. I mean I had totally lost my purpose for even existing. I knew I must have another purpose, but I couldn't see it. I existed that way for months, several miserable months. I have made this statement several times and I will state it again. "God knew all along this was going to happen, even if I didn't." Obviously if you find yourself in this situation, it is vital that you find out who you are and what your purpose is that doesn't rely on being a mother, grandmother, spouse or something similar. Those things can change and then you are left not knowing who you are or why you still exist. Many of you will not have the same difficulty but this is written for those of you who do or might find yourself in this situation. I don't have all of the answers, but I am painfully learning. I believe it would be so much healthier if we didn't get ourselves in this predicament in the first place. That is easy to say but hard to do. As women it is very easy to have our entire lives centre around our children or grandchildren. In one sense that is what we want to do, but then when those things are taken away from us, we may feel alone and useless. When we are middle-aged and are thrust into the world of raising small children again, it is hard to be focused on multiple pursuits besides raising the children. We are exhausted, aching, and perhaps overwhelmed. But we love our grandchildren and want to make up for everything that may have been lacking in their lives. It may totally consume us. Then we neglect ourselves. So the question is, how do we not neglect ourselves while we care for these precious children? I will not insult you with a list of pat answers, for each woman is an individual and each circumstance is different. Fortunately for me I did still have clients that I do work for over the Internet. I would force myself to keep contact with them and do what I needed to do, but sometimes there would be days that I never even went out of the house (plus we've had a tough winter). So I became deficient in Vitamin D and became more depressed. Supplements helped with that. So whether we are still raising our own children or are raising our grandchildren, we must not lose sight of who we are as individual women. Besides raising grandchildren, we must learn and like who we are as individuals. As for me at 56, I'd like to get really good at something. I mean "really good" at something that does not hinge on the fact of whether or not I am thin or heavy, pretty or plain, healthy or not healthy, a wonderful mother or grandmother or a terrible one, a happily married woman or single and lonely. Since I am healthy, I most likely (unless something horrid happens) will live another 40 years. That is plenty of time for me to improve my identity. I just wish I hadn't neglected it over the past seven years. Karen Wright www.RaisingYourGrandchildren.com Permission to reproduce granted 14 March 2010 oooOOOooo Working for Families Tax Credits: www.ird.govt.nz What you're entitled to If you receive a foster care allowance, orphan's benefit or unsupported child's benefit, for one or more children, and this is the only benefit you receive, you may be entitled to an in-work tax credit. You're not entitled to any other Working for Families Tax Credits for these children. What are Working for Families Tax Credits? What they are Working for Families Tax Credits are an entitlement for families with dependent children aged 18 or younger. It includes four different types of payments (tax credits). Important You may be entitled to more than one type of payment. The types of payment you can get depend on:
All payments are made to an eligible parent or the principal child carer to help with the family's day to day living costs. Who pays it Work and Income generally pays your family tax credit if you receive an income-tested benefit as your main income. Inland Revenue pays Working for Families Tax Credits if your main income is from working, a student allowance, NZ Super or ACC. If you receive an income-tested benefit you can choose to receive your family tax credit from either Work and Income or Inland Revenue. IRD 0800 227 773 Work & Income 0800 559 009 oooOOOooo
Future Focus: a better off in work approach Press Release by New Zealand Government at 12:53 pm, 23 Mar 2010
A comprehensive package of reforms unveiled today by Social Development Minister Paula Bennett, aims to break the cycle of welfare dependency.
The Future Focus package delivers on National's pre-election promises by rebalancing expectations and obligations.
"I strongly believe people are better off in work; it's better for them individually, for their children and their families," says Ms Bennett.
"Most New Zealanders want to work. As the economy gradually improves, picking up speed next year, more jobs will become available and as they do, we'll expect people to take them," says Ms Bennett.
345,000 New Zealanders currently receive a benefit, costing taxpayers $4.8 billion a year. Future Focus aims to support only those in genuine need. There is an expectation that those who can work, do.
The changes announced today will be introduced gradually over a year, from October.
Those still receiving an Unemployment Benefit after a year will be expected to reapply. Work testing ensures people don't get stuck in the system.
"People have an obligation to find work if they're able and if they don't, we'll step in and help them," says Ms Bennett.
All benefit rates will increase annually in line with the cost of living increases. This will now be enshrined in law.
Sole parents with children six years and over will be work-tested and required to look for part-time work. Next year, Sickness Beneficiaries assessed as being able to do part-time work will face the same obligations.
This greatly concerns us as a number of our grand’s raising have been placed on DPB and had their UCB removed or are getting sickness benefits. GRG Trust NZ
We will provide help, with more job-focused training. Childcare provisions will be targeted at those parents who most need it.
Abatement rates will be increased for some benefits, providing a work incentive.
The abatement threshold will increase from $80 to $100 per week. Part-time thresholds also increase by $20 from $180 to $200 per week.
28,000 people will be better off because of changes to abatement levels.
We're also making changes to hardship and emergency assistance.
The process will be streamlined for occasional users while high users will have to show they're making every effort to manage their finances to get extra help.
"We expect people to step up and take some responsibility for managing their own finances," says Ms Bennett.
Other changes include:
"These changes mean New Zealand's welfare system provides help for those who genuinely need it, without becoming a lifestyle choice for those who don't," says Ms Bennett. For more information: http://www.msd.govt.nz/about-msd-and-our-work/work-programmes/initiatives/future-focus/index.html
Grandparents as Parents: “Because” Is Not An Answer
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